Almost three quarters of gay men are turned off by effeminate guys: study

Almost three quarters of gay men are turned off by effeminate guys: study

A new survey on masculinity has shown almost three out of four queer men say they are turned off by effeminate guys.

The survey of more than 5,000 men by Attitude magazine found 71 per cent have been turned off by a prospective partner’s femininity.

Only 29 per cent said they would consider effeminate traits as a positive.

Attitude editor Matt Cain said the results were consistent with many gay men’s experiences in dating and on hookup apps.

The survey also found that 41 per cent of queer guys had felt “less of a man” themselves because of their sexuality.

“Masculinity is in crisis,” said Cain.

“At least that’s the message that seems to emerge pretty much every day from the mainstream media.

“Broadsheets, Sunday supplements and radio and TV discussion programmes are full of straight men debating what it means to be a man, what constitutes modern masculinity, and whining about how difficult it is to respect themselves now that women are becoming more powerful and that male privilege is being eroded.”

Cain said the relationship between gay men and masculinity was more complex.

“Yes, we enjoy the privilege of being male in a patriarchal society,” he said.

“But I’ve spent much of my life being made to feel as if I’m less of a man for being gay. And that any signs of femininity I may exhibit make me a less important or less valued member of society. And I know lots of other gay men who feel the same way.

“In this context, it can be bewildering to get our heads round what it means to be a man.”

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3 responses to “Almost three quarters of gay men are turned off by effeminate guys: study”

  1. I wonder if this more relates to the campy, flamboyant lisp-bearing typecast gay rather than actual effeminate/feminine guys?

    A lot of gay people I know (including myself) quite admire feminine traits like personalities and physique in guys, but I do find the very flamboyant effeminacy often seen in stereotypes and various people in the gay scene to be a bit offputting, but hey, each to his own.

    Essentially, anything in excess can be offputting, even the obsession with hypermasculinity and people who are nuts for having these crazy buff, toned military machine bodies and crew cut hair etc can be a bit of a heck of a turn away, and is done to excess.

    Bring on the cute, feminine guys! They shouldn’t have to feel as though they need to shrink away simply because the typecast flamboyant is commonly associated with feminine traits.

  2. I don’t consider effeminacy either positive or negative becasue it harms no one. Gender expression is not right or wrong; it just is. Having said that I am not attracted to effeminacy.

    What I feel most gay men are turned off by campiness which for many is theatrical, dramatic, over the top display of femininity which makes them look inauthentic and immature. Many times campiness is accompanied with bitchiness and attention seeking behaviour. I think that is what turns them off.

    I feel that the need to vilify gay men’s attraction to masculinity is getting too far to the point it is literally sounding like another branch of conversion therapy. We might now wonder what’s this new obsession with telling gay men what they should like and what not.

    Now, what most people are ignoring is this simple question: what kind of men most effeminate gay men look for? Other effeminate gay men? No; Masculine gay men? Yes.