If you’re a gay man and you don’t love Mariah, I’m sorry – we’re revoking your membership. There’s just so much to enjoy here: the terrible pun of the album title, Mariah’s photoshopped-beyond-recognition visage on the cover, the ‘extra festive’ remake of her 1994 hit All I Want For Christmas Is You, and the fact that the whole album ends with a version of Auld Lang Syne that morphs into a tinny, gay-club-circa-1996 techno song at the one-minute mark. Mariah, you’re the greatest Christmas gift of all.

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