Camp as

When he first suggested it I almost fell off my chair laughing. Me. Camping! My whole life is a camp. Why the hell would I want to take a trip to the bush?

But I’m a sucker for a cute boy and the boy in question is my current squeeze. It wasn’t too long before I was persuaded to pack everything up and take to the dirt.

Many of you will not believe me but I was actually a scout in my younger days in the country. So camping is not that much of a stretch for me, though I have to admit I’m a little rusty.

Everything seemed to be thrown in the car before I could say Bush Tucker Man and we were off on my latest adventure.

On arriving at our destination, we soon discovered the allocated campsites of previous times were no longer there and it was every man for himself.

What were we going to do? They didn’t even have a barbecue area to cook our sausage sizzle. This was not looking good.

However, after my years of intensive bush training I soon had not only David but also myself believing that everything would be okay. And this is where everything started to go downhill.

We decided to try and get back to nature and snuggle before setting up camp. It turns out I snuggled a little too hard and got what felt like a bunch of thorns in my arse.

The eggs in the esky all became one and soaked everything else beside them. We got a flat tyre. There were no water taps so all we had was one litre of water that had been in the back of the car since 1982.

And to top it off I could not get any reception on my mobile. This adventure sucked ass big time.

It seemed like we were both over it. After approximately 3.5 hours and some serious discussion we decided to head back to the big smoke.

Now I understand that it is very Australian to go bush every now and then but, really, let’s face it, some people thrive so much better in the big concrete jungle we call the city. Once we hit Darlinghurst the real camping started.

EYESPY Is it just a rumour or are there plans for a new show venue to hit the scene? Word on the street has it that the Palace Hotel is scouting for entertainers to launch fabulous new shows in the near future. I will keep you posted on any developments.

And who was the showgirl who was found asleep by security in a nightclub toilet? Turns out she was not putrid or rotten, just tired.