Climb every mountain

Climb every mountain

With Mardi Gras licking our feet like the waves at Bondi, I have decided to try to do a few articles that focus on some of the fabulous things you are able to take your overseas guests to do. Think Getaway with a lot of glitter and even more girly screams and you have hit it on the head. I speak with so many tourists who seem to party the whole time they are here and, when asked what they have done, their usual response is a list of boys’/barmen’s names as long as their arms.

Fresh off our skydiving adventure, I decided to organise a Harbour BridgeClimb for my tourist posse, consisting of Rob (Ireland), Neal (Wales) and Norman (Germany). They all thought it was just okay to settle for a glance or two at the bridge rather than tackle the climb itself.

I have done the BridgeClimb many times, the last in 2002 when 20 drag queens were allowed to climb in full drag at 6am to promote the Gay Games.

If you haven’t done the climb yet, there are a few important details you need to remember. The first one left a couple of the showgirls homeward bound and, with a group from Ireland, Wales and Germany, I thought this would happen once again. For safety reasons, all climbers are breathalysed.

Another concern, if you’re short like me, is you have to settle for the fact you’re going to look like a round grey beanbag when you slip into the mandatory grey nylon suits for your adventure. On the other hand, if you’re tall, you have to face another feature of the suit -“ crotch ride-up. Thank goodness our German was not shy at all, as his manhood stood out proudly for all and sundry to see, bump into and almost fall over.

Our guide, the gorgeous Nick, led us up the relatively new route called the Discovery Tour. Snaking up past the traffic and rattling trains, our party was a mix of oohs and ahhhs.

Following a quick photo shoot after we made it to the top, we were able to take in the truly spectacular views of our fair city.

The climb is not a quick up-and-down -“ the whole thing takes about three hours, good value even if you are a little nervous about heights. You can’t be guaranteed to have the sexy Nick, but all the staff are fabulous.

Where to now for our next adventure? Helicopter? Jet boat?

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