On your marks, get set, go! The race is on, though for all those who know me, it’s more of a slow jog but the essence of a race is there, trust me.

As I told you last week, my friend Vanity has moved out, so I have started the search for a new housemate. I think I can hear many readers from here: Living with a drag queen? You have to be kidding!

It’s really not that bad. There is this misconception that all drag queens are messy and that there’s drag from one end of the house to another. This is totally untrue. Most of us are untidy and have drag lying everywhere, but there is the odd showgirl who is very organised and neat.

What should I be looking for and what are some of the benefits of living at the Shield residence? One very big plus is that the young man who lives in the cupboard (the smaller room we have nicknamed the cupboard but it’s not actually a cupboard) has a very relaxed view on clothing. This sexy young American uni student named Ritch has decided that home is where the heart should be and lets his free spirit hang out whenever he feels he needs to. And for all those horrified to think that I would be following suit with the clothing-optional rule, don’t worry. I’m still living a Mormon lifestyle, with neck to knee clothing very popular.

What I should be looking for is someone who pays the rent on time and in full. This is a huge benefit and, when you get down to the nuts and bolts of it, truly all you need, but is there more?

He should be gorgeous, hung, have lots of sexy friends, shower with the door open, sleep in the nude on the lounge -“ all these have appeared on my checklist. Such a rigorous interview process is needed to find that special person. I have narrowed it down to just five finalists and I will have them complete a survivor-style challenge to determine the final housemate. Leaving it up to chance I feel is the best way to decide. Having them eat through a jar of lollies while applying chocolate body paint on each other seems to be the fairest task to get a winner.

I am sure whoever wins will settle in just fine.

EYESPY Congratulations to Benita/ Bin Eater on taking out first place last Sunday night at Arq’s Drag Survivor contest. Roughly a dozen girls were put through their paces, with Portia Turbo on the reins, to out-mime, out-bitch and out-dance each other. Benita lasted through many weeks to finally take the crown from Dame Melvina.

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