After almost three weeks of holidays from the Star I have to admit my two typing fingers started to get a little itchy but after a little warming they were as good as new. For the last couple of Mondays I have been able to sleep in and not have to worry about coming up with something funny for this column. It has been good.

I guess it wouldn’t be me if I didn’t tell you about my Christmas and NYE so here goes. Christmas Eve was spent at Stonewall working with the double trouble duo Candy Box and Daisy Fantayzee. Candy and I were under strict instructions to do the show, have one drink and then head for our individual homes due to the fact we were cooking the next day’s lunch. I laugh at the thought even as I write it. What were we thinking? After many Fire Islands and even more Christmas pashes I rolled out of Stonewall early Christmas Day, with nothing more than a half-stuffed bird on a plate in the fridge. With one hand full of Berocca and a Jamie Oliver cookbook in the other, I had a fabulous picnic, but a hair of the dog soon had me drinking again, in the hot sun.

Hoping not to do that again, I decided to tackle NYE in a different manner. I was due to be performing as a pole dancer at Queer Nation the very next day and didn’t want to turn up a little trashy. So instead of putting myself in an environment that promotes partying, I thought, why not just go to a friend’s house and watch the fireworks.

It started well but with an influx of sexy backpackers, I soon found myself in a private hostel party, then waking up the next afternoon on the top of a double bunk next to someone named Hans. After a quick makeup touch-up, with heels in hand I tried to sneak out without anyone seeing me looking like a terracotta pot. Needless to say the 50 backpackers in the common room I had to creep through weren’t shocked at all -“ they just offered me a drink and congratulated me on the numbers I had done the night before. Not one to refuse hospitality, I tossed down a couple and made my way home. Needless to say, pole dancing that night next to the gorgeous Mark and Imogen made me feel really pretty.

With a pocket full of New Year resolutions that have been broken already, I hope that you all have a great 2004 and don’t let anything get in the way of being your best self.

EYE SPY

Who was the glamorous showgirl from Melbourne, who spent a few fun-filled days in Sydney. She had a thigh-slapping time at the Lizard Lounge last Thursday (I think it was the thigh she slapped). Speaking of the Lizard Lounge, the always gorgeous Vanity Faire is there tonight with her brand new one-woman show. I have seen a few rehearsals and it looks to be a great night, so pop in and say hi -“ you may even get a request.

I was lucky enough to go and see The Lady Boys Of Bangkok last week. The girls looked great with quite a few stand-outs that were really stunning. I was told by Penny Tration that if in Bangkok it would be better to go and see the shows there as they are amazing. I have to say congrats to the girls, who must be exhausted as the show is very HiNRG.

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