Food for thought

I have been meaning to feature my next topic for many years, an institution on Oxford St and a regular stop for me for over a decade. I am talking about Olympic Yeeros, the fast food shop that seems to be always busy, staffed for years by the same faces. Often you are met by Rosie (tight perm, sometimes happy, sometimes grumpy). Rosie has been front and centre for so long that many refer to the shop as Rosie’s but we are all reminded that Rosie just works there -“ she’s not the owner. Then there are Suzie (short dark hair) and John (balding Turkish man, always smiling), both popping up most nights of the week and, if not too busy, up for a good old gasbag.

All have served over a million slices of pizza, and are fluent in all forms of the drunken language. I am sure they all have stories that would make your hair curl: which famous person was seen escorting showgirls home, or who was seen canoodling in the back restaurant while their boyfriend was across the road at the disco.

But as with doctors, professional discretion demands that what happens under the bright lights of the bain-marie stays there.

So is it Olympic Yeeros that is to blame for our showgirls’ expanding waistlines? Or is it the huge amount of alcohol consumed prior that is to blame, with the oil just lightening our headache the next day?

I and scores of others have been going to the same place for 15 years, saying hello to the same people for just as long. Does that make it more than just a fast food takeaway?

Showgirls regularly stop off for a quick feed, so I decided to ask a few of them about their favourite items on the menu.

The always glamorous and back-in-town showgirl Vanity Faire can’t beat chicken wings covered in chicken salt and barbecue chicken pizza, all washed down with a Strawberry Moove.

Then there is Vanity’s partner in wig crime, Courtney Act, who says it all depends on the time of day, but top of her must-have list is a bacon and egg roll with lashings of barbecue sauce.

New girl on the strip Benita swears by the chicken kebab, claiming that after four or five jugs of beer this kebab helps her keep dancing the nights away in a corset.

Reigning Entertainer of the Year Minnie Cooper loves the Mexican pizza, though I’m not sure how much she actually eats. Mind you, I have seen her with my own eyes chomping away at a hot slice and she still manages to stay trim, taut and terrific. Bloody metabolisms -¦ I need to get myself one.

Sexy DJ Kitty Glitter loves the rice pudding, claiming it’s just as good as her mother makes.

I have a few different choices myself. If I’m trying to slim down I like a grilled falafel with all the salads. If I’ve been on the turps the chicken wings, kranski and lamb cutlets with chicken salt are hard to beat.

It also means I have to spend even longer on a treadmill each week -“ and as I do I thankfully curse the gorgeous team who keep the showgirls well-fed and ensure our gym memberships are always paid in full.

As someone said recently, the food’s nice, but, if you’re pissed, it’s BEWTY-FULL.