Handbag heaven

Is it all about buttons, frocks, makeup, hair and shoes or do the awards play a part in DIVA also? The big extravaganza is partly about the awards but mostly about how fabulous each person is going to look -“ and for how long they can maintain that fabulousness.

Costume designers have been working overtime, trying to convert runway haute couture into something womanly and feminine for a man. Thousands of dollars have been spent on videotapes for recording Foxtel’s Fashion TV channel to plan that elusive dress.

This year I was lucky enough to stumble upon my dress design by accident and with only a couple of modifications I have the finished product ready, just itching to be worn.

My next task has become the most difficult this year. I am talking about my DIVA handbag. Not the Gucci variety, I mean my DIVA date.

You have to be smart because the wrong handbag can totally clash and bring your fabulous frock to the ground. You need to be able to step onto the red carpet with passers-by yelling, Wow, Maxi is hot, and just a second later, And who is that on her arm?

Your handbag should help you out of the car, get you drinks whenever necessary, and hold your bag if need be. It’s a very important job and those who are not aware of their duties can really leave their DIVA in the lurch.

So what makes a fabulous handbag? For starters he has to be gorgeous, like the ones you have to lie on your stomach to look at on Bondi Beach.

They have to be willing to have fun, as the night is all about fun and those who aren’t really into letting their hair down soon become party poopers.

He’s a part of your outfit who can really steal the show (after you have, of course). I have just received a confirmation phone call from my handbag and he is big, buff and gorgeous, so hands off, any of you other molls.

And even better, the urban myth about having to root your Year 12 formal partner can apply with your DIVA handbag.

I didn’t receive the memo in Year 12, and Amanda Lovell and I just ended up getting pissed on goon, so I may have to catch up for what I missed out on. Yes, he’s as gorgeous as that!

Don’t forget voting for DIVA is on 26 August at the Colombian.