Life as a gay twin

Twin brothers Aslam and Ja’far Abdus-Samad were brought up in a strict Muslim family and recently both came out to their mother.

We both came out on our 18th birthday, Ja’far told Sydney Star Observer.

Our mother didn’t take it well and said it was against her religion and for us not to tell our step-dad, he said.

She is fine with it now but we don’t talk about it. But there is no closure and we can’t tell our younger brothers and sisters.

Growing up and attending a strict Muslim school was hard for the brothers. During school life they were subjected to many verbal and physical attacks.

The funny thing now is that we aren’t even Muslim. We are pagans, which gave my mother an even bigger shock. Being a pagan gay twin isn’t a good look in the Koran, Aslam said

As kids, they both had a feeling that the other was gay, but kept their own sexualities hidden.

I always had a feeling that Ja’far was gay, even when he tried to deny it by joining in with the bullies at school, Aslam said.

Now 19, the twins have moved out of the family home and live together in a cosy Brisbane unit. Aslam is studying acting at university and Ja’far is working before he starts full-time music training.

It’s not unusual to meet gay twins. Some studies have shown that more than half of the time, if one identical twin is gay, the other one will be too. For fraternal twins the figure is lower, but still significant. The Abdus-Samad brothers wouldn’t have it any other way.

It’s much easier to have a gay twin than a straight twin, Aslam said. I know a gay twin who has a straight twin and they don’t speak to each other any more.

Professor David Hay from Western Australia’s Curtin University has spent years researching gay twins. He said in most cases, having a gay and straight twin caused more familial conflict.

It seems to cause more distress on the straight twin than the gay twin, he told Sydney Star Observer.

In many cases they become resentful of the gay twin, especially if they have children.

Gay twins, for better or worse, are also regularly featured in gay porn. The Abdus-Samad brothers think the whole idea of that is disturbing.

We get asked that all the time when we are at clubs and I find it disgusting, Aslam said.

It’s something that I would not do. It’s wrong to have sex with your family. I have heard of some gay twins playing with each other but it’s something I have never and will never do. But each to your own, I say.