It wasn’t until I started doing drag that I really accepted that maybe my unusually high voice was a gift. Granted it did come in very handy at school when I used to ring the principal and pretend to be either my mother or a fellow student’s mother and get a day off. Yes, hello, Principal Henderson, this is Mrs Shield. Unfortunately Maxine is unable to attend school today. She has a stomach virus. Then off to Sydney we would all go. I think a lot of people have issues with hearing their own voice. Mine has always been high, squawky and a little feminine.

This is why it took a little time for me to say yes to my latest adventure, and that is to host a radio program for the new Beat FM 87.6. Now you may be saying, But you talk on the microphone all the time. Yes, this is true but there is almost no chance that I’ll be recorded and then played again over and over. Well, I have worked out my issues, and with a higher and squawker voice I am now ready to take on anything.

Beat FM 87.6 is designed especially for the needs and lifestyle of the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community of Sydney. As Beat FM is a niche station for a niche audience, it will include some of the gayest programming you have ever heard and an amazing dance music format.

The program I will be bringing to you will also star the always fabulous Miranda Fair as my co-host and the barrel boy with the mostest, Sexy Galexy. It will be every Friday night and will be broadcast live (oooh I am sounding like a radio announcer already!) from the Lizard Lounge from 7pm. With loads of prizes, games and special guests -“ just reading their names is making me nervous -“ the show looks to be a hoot and essential listening each week. Friday Nite Live will kick off on 30 April and the station will be launched on 26 April by Lord Mayor Moore herself.

Now there is so much more on Beat FM 87.6 like The Breakfast Show, Lunchtime Anthems, The Red Room, Better Homos And Gardens and one that will surely be my favourite Lock And Load. But due to my word count restrictions I will have to fill you in on them next week.

EYESPY It has come to my attention, after a huge Sunday night at the Venus Room, that some of the audience were under the impression that Penny and I had been fired. This is definitely untrue. Last week was the final of the Follies format, which had been going since DIVA legend Polly Petrie herself relocated to the Lizard Lounge. Due to the show being performed for only two weeks out of every month, we have decided to move on. We have two more weeks left at the Venus Room; then new hostesses will be taking over. We would like to thank everyone who has come down on a Sunday -“ it was just a bit of campness to finish your week off.

Who was the famous showgirl seen entertaining numerous men last week in the Q Bar restrooms? It seemed that all the boys were so excited to have the attention of such a big star that they may not have realised that she was actually a he. Oh well, good on you, girl.

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