So many people always ask me what I do during the day. Most people think I just sit on my fat arse and eat. Just because I work at night they think that I have all day free to do what ever I like.

Well, that is half true I guess. Yes, your days are free but if you get home at 4am almost every night you tend to sleep in till at least 11am or 12 noon just so that you feel semi-normal. Everything seems to be a little backwards, but I guess you’d expect that from a showgirl. Your breakfast is usually had at lunch, your lunch is had at dinner and dinner is usually had at Olympic Yeeros…

One thing that was really hard for me to adjust to was my television viewing. As many of my readers know I am from a country town and many of my nights were spent around the TV watching true Aussie programmes like A Country Practice, Sons and Daughters, and -“ who can forget -“ The Sullivans. It was a form of de-stressing that helped my whole family to bond in a silent fashion.

Working at night means you miss all of these shows unless you have programmed your video to within an inch of its life. After hours of pre-recorded viewing that was almost impossible to watch, I decided to change my television habits and start to get into some daytime soaps. Oh my god, I wish I hadn’t! Yes, I am currently hooked on The Bold and the Beautiful. And for all of those shift workers and house wives out there that have seen at least one episode you will understand why this is a little sad. Like a drug, it hooks you in.

Now basically the show is about a fashion house called Forrester Creations. Everyone on the show is beautiful (and the majority of the characters are sluts) and even though the whole show is based on fashion there isn’t a gay person in sight. One character that really stands out at the moment is Brooke -“ let’s face it, she is the biggest slut of them all. Over the course of her show life she has married and had children to the father, Eric Forrester, his two sons, her daughter’s husband, her husband’s brother and now it seems she is joining a convent. And still she looks not a day over 35yrs. What a trooper, I say.

EYESPY

Was it just me or did everyone notice the absence of a gay or lesbian character in this season’s Big Brother?

Congrats to the Sydney Convicts for a great win 29-3 on Saturday against the Brisbane Hustlers. I tried my best to commentate, though I probably should’ve made sure I’d seen at least one game first. A fabulous gay state of origin, though I was a little worried about the amount of kissing in the showers.

The Convicts will be at the Shift once again on the 15th of May for a reprise of their full monty show that many did miss.

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