Mexico’s lesbian delights

We lesbians have a reputation for being less party-focused than gay boys, but the truth is we too like it hot, we like it wet and we want it all right now.

Of course, we also want it affordable, romantic and mysterious. Luckily, there are a few choice spots out there where we can find everything we need and want in a vacation spot. The amber-hued beaches and steamy nightlife of Cancun, Mexico, certainly qualify as one of these ultimately satisfying exotic locations.

First and foremost, the primary ingredient for any fabulous vacation is accommodation. Cancun has enough all-inclusive resorts, hotels and motels to boggle the mind. My recommendation? Skip the hype. Yes, there are gay accommodations in Cancun, even a gay resort. However, most of these cater to the boys and have little action or consideration for us lesbians.

Not so Moon Palace. This all-inclusive resort was recommended to us by gay, lesbian and straight alike. After spending four glorious nights there, I can understand why. The rooms are literally little palaces. There were four of us crazy lesbians stuffed into one of their economy rooms and yet we still felt like we had won the lottery. When your economy room comes standard with a three-person Jacuzzi, a shower/steam room the size of my bedroom and a fully and interestingly stocked mini-bar, one can’t help but be happy.

There are also not one, but two pools the size of football fields laid out like sparkling mazes complete with swim-up bars. Place all this luxury on a glowing private beach and surround it with exotic restaurants and bars every 10 feet. What else could one ask for?

All meals and all drinks (including the four-shot margaritas) are included in the tab, as well as water sports, theme parties and a tour to the Mayan ruin of your choice. There is also a free shuttle to downtown Cancun so you don’t have to pay the outrageous taxi fees (Cancunian taxi drivers don’t use meters). The only complaint we had to register was the inability to communicate with some of the staff, which caused occasionally hilarious bloopers to occur. However, I also lay the blame partially on us and our very bad attempted use of nonsensical Spanish.

Book in the off season for the best rates and smaller crowds -“ early November is a fabulous time for perfect weather and cheaper prices.

Okay, so once you’ve found your perfect spot to relax in, the next step is to leave it immediately and find out where the action is. There is only one place to start looking in Cancun for that down and dirty nightlife we all are just aching to explore. That’s the Picante Hot Bar.

Though this very Latin gay bar is mostly packed with half-naked men, there are some exciting times to be had -“ some drop-dead hotties of the female variety can be found in the crowd, and the drinks will water your eyes. The hot Latin rhythms of the dance floor lay to waste many DJ selections.

Also, since much of the gay and lesbian activity in Cancun is a bit underground, this is the only place to pick up on the local gossip and goings-on in the area. Just be good to yourself and ask the women where to look, or the bartenders. You should not necessarily rely on some of the locals to lead you. After all, beautiful, mysterious and fabulous Cancun may be, but it is still a city made for only one purpose -“ to milk tourists.

On a final note, Cancun has one more ingredient to spice up your exotic location. Not only does it host some of the most beautiful and mysterious Mayan ruins within driving distance, but this jumping little city is just a little bit dangerous. Literally everyone is out to get a buck from you, and some of them will steal it right off you if given even the slightest chance. Danger always adds a little extra flavour to any exotic vacation, but do yourself a favour and read up on local customs and precautions before you head out. I’ll leave you with the top six travel tips I learned from my steamy trip south of the border.

 

SAFE TRAVEL TIPS FOR

CANCUN

1 Never take a taxi unless you have to. I read about this before going, but the truth hurts more. If you do have to take a taxi, make sure the taxi driver knows exactly where you are going and agree on a price before you ever get in the cab. Taxis, however, are better than car rentals. I will laugh at you if you rent a car in Cancun, and so will the traffic police who will milk you for all you are worth.

2 Do not ever, ever leave your drinks unattended in your resort or at a restaurant or bar.

3 Make sure you have some US cash before you arrive. Weird things seem to happen at the Cancun airport, and they usually involve you having to dish out unexpected cash.

4 Drugs? Don’t even think about it. If you don’t want to spend six months in a Mexican jail, just don’t go there.

5 Never leave your passport or major identification, plane ticket, extra money or valuables in your hotel room or carry them on your person. Keep one piece of identification on your person and the cash you need. Leave the rest in the hotel safe or your room safe.

6 In the privacy of your hotel room, or the interior of a gay bar, make out with your hot little honey as much as you want. Once you are on the streets or in the local villages, however, keep your hands to yourself. Some parts of Cancun rank in the lower Alabama range.

 

 

L.A. Vess currently is the content editor for www.Bluway.com and a member of the International Gay & Lesbian Journalists Association.