I don’t think it is meddling in the black arts or even touching on witchcraft. I am talking about my visit to a fortune-teller last weekend.

Granted I was nervous, though I wasn’t sure what really put the wind up me: what this lady was going to tell me or the scary train trip out to Woop Woop.

Deep down I thought I was a bit of a pro about the whole psychic thing anyway. When Charmed first came out I never missed an episode, I was sure I knew all the lingo and spells that went along with this sort of thing.

Maybe I had some secret talent that she was going to unmask with her crystal ball or something.

After an hour’s train trip, I finally reached my destination, still not actually knowing where to go. I decided to jump in a taxi, which in turn took me just around the corner.

If I were psychic I would have known where to go, so I guess I can cross that one off my list.

The house was very simple, reminding me of the family house at home at Nowra. As I walked down the pavement, Jules met me at the door.

Wow, she knew I was coming! Damn, she was good! (Or was it the barking dogs going crazy? Okay, let’s just run with she was good.)

After a few minutes of chit chat, money was exchanged and it was time to get down to business. We moved to the lounge room where I was instructed to sit on what looked like the dogs’ lounge while she organised herself.

From our first telephone conversation, I was told to bring something I had owned for a long time, so I produced an old tee-shirt that was once too small for me (and I still wore it) but was now loose and baggy again.

She sat next to me clutching my tired old tee, sniffing it with her eyes closed (oops, should have given that a Napisan before coming).

Now I won’t go into everything she said as, believe it or not, she was correct through the majority of her ramblings but here are a few choice comments that need to be shared.

This is a big time for you -“ yes, I think it’s Mardi Gras season, isn’t it?

You have recently lost a lot of weight -“ well, darl, if the stretched tee-shirt you are sniffing is not screaming that, what is?

You’re gay -“ she wasn’t blind.

You work in the arts -“ yes, I do work in the arts and let’s face it, quoting Fuchsia Star, I love it in the arts.

After an hour of sniffing and broad statements I was back on the train for home. I have now decided to leave the supernatural for those who are more qualified.

I don’t think the Power of Three will be joined by me soon at all. However, I still do believe in fairies, so there may be hope for me yet.

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