Stop the fighting

Stop the fighting

by KLINTON PORTER

Question: What do the tooth fairy, Michael Jackson’s nose and relationships that run smoothly all have in common? Answer: They are things that are not real.

Something would be seriously wrong if two people in a relationship didn’t argue or have a fight once in a while. It’s healthy and can often lead to a stronger relationship.

No one wants to lose the argument. But perhaps with some tactics you can make sure that you keep things under control and leave the ball well in your court.

If your man is a crab, this is the guy who shuts down as soon as the argument picks up. He runs into his shell and doesn’t talk. Nothing gets resolved -“ he just won’t give you anything.

You have to be calm with the crab. It’s pointless talking to them because they’re in their shell as a defence mechanism and won’t come out. You have to give him 10 minutes or so to sit, and then calmly talk to him without any anger. He ran into the shell because of an argument so if it appears there isn’t one he’ll come out again.

If you shacked up with a lion, you will know that he shouts and gets aggressive, leaving no doubt where his feelings lie. To put him back in his cage you have to do the exact opposite to what he does. If he gets louder you get softer; if he starts swearing, then you get more polite. Lions like people mimicking their reactions. Be as strong as them but don’t play their game. Then they will have to play yours.

If you are with the lion’s partner, the puppy, you’ll see that it’s less aggression and more sulking. The puppy is the one who slams the doors and replies your questions with I’m fine. The trick with the puppy is to talk about something else or go watch TV or something that’s nothing to do with the argument at hand. Once distracted they will eventually reveal their feelings.

If the man in your bed is the horse you are one lucky guy. He is the one who is calm and listens to what you say. You discuss, resolve and move on. Horses are the hardest ones to catch, I’m afraid.

So whether you have a crab, horse, puppy or lion in your bed, when the argument arises, use the best approach to get things under your control to win the case. And the best part about arguing is that you get to have make-up sex afterwards.

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