Whether you’re a top, bottom, bear, twink, leather master or rice queen, there are several golden rules to follow to get the greatest sex of your life. If Michael Thomas Ford’s excellent advice can’t get you over the line, you might consider trying girls.
What turns you on
Ford says the best sex occurs when you know exactly what blows your hair back. He says most of us have certain things that excite us sexually, whether it’s activities (nipple play, anal sex, spanking), physical traits (hairy chests, ethnic looks, blue eyes), fetishes (leather, uniforms, tattoos), or favoured sexual situations (outdoor sex, role play, bondage).
When you allow yourself to explore these interests without judging yourself, you free yourself to enjoy the sex that arises from liking these things, he says.
Tell him what you need
The number one block to great sex is not knowing how to ask for what you want and not understanding what your partners want, Ford says.
When we hold back from letting our partner (or ourselves) know what excites us, we put ourselves into a situation where we can’t enjoy sexual activity to the fullest extent.
Ford says foreplay is less important to men than it is to women for getting aroused for more intense sexual activity. But it’s still important. Foreplay is a preview, if you will, of what’s to come. It gets the mind and body thinking ahead, and that heightens sexual anticipation, which in turn leads to a more intense climax. Yeah, baby.
Kiss me, you fool
Many men find kissing to be the most intimate of all sexual acts, Ford says, even more so than penetration. It’s often the first type of romantic/ sexual contact we have with a partner, the first indication that things are likely to progress to sex. Because of this, how a man sees kissing will usually determine how important it is to him.
Ford reveals some men find kissing a necessary part of lovemaking, while others leave it out altogether. Like everything else about sex, finding what you (and your partners) like is simply a matter of trying it, he says.
Ford believes, on some level, all sex is about fantasy. Let’s face it -“ real-world sex is often clumsy, which is part of its charm. It’s not unusual to mask some of that with fantasy, whether that means thinking about someone or something else during sex with a partner or literally dressing up and role playing, he explains.
But a warning: fantasy can become a distraction for you can become obsessed with fantasy to the point where you avoid real issues and it can harm you sexually.
How much is enough?
Some men are content with only occasional sex, while others want it frequently. Ford says you can overdo it. If thinking about sex, seeking out sex, or having sex occupies your time to the point that your relationships with friends or partners are affected and it’s become the primary focus of your energies, then you have a problem, he says.