The grooms wore yarmulkas

The grooms wore yarmulkas

Sydney couple Scott Whitmont and Christopher Whitmont-Stein will make Australian history this Sunday when they will hold a commitment ceremony in a Progressive Jewish synagogue with the blessing of its three rabbis.

The religious ceremony at Emanuel Synagogue will be the second celebration for the couple of nine years, who celebrate their official anniversary on 22 September in honour of their 2002 ceremony without religious or state backing.

Only a few words and rituals have been changed from the traditional orthodox wedding. Instead of the bride walking around her husband-to-be seven times, they will each walk around the other three-and-a-half times -” a demonstration of an equal relationship, Whitmont-Stein said.

Although he didn’t want to take anything away from the ceremony they held in front of dozens of friends and family six years ago, Whitmont-Stein said that when he steps under the chuppah canopy with his partner the significance of the event would hit him.

We wanted to be recognised by our community and officiated by our rabbi, that was important to us. All three rabbis are very involved and excited by the ceremony, he told Sydney Star Observer.

I converted in 2002, the rabbi I studied with and converted with [Jeffery Kammins] is officiating. Rabbi Jacqueline Ninio was one of the main people pushing this through the Progressive Rabbinical Council and she wanted to be part of this, so we waited until she got back from maternity leave so she could take part.

At the time of our ceremony six years ago we said religion and the laws could catch up. Well religion has caught up first, one more to go.

Last year the couple spoke at a forum in the synagogue to advocate for the right of same-sex couples to hold the commitment ceremonies with temple blessing.

We didn’t want to bring Orthodoxy into it, this isn’t about Orthodox bashing. The reaction was mostly positive initially and we expected to get some flak later, but that didn’t happen, Whitmont-Stein said.

GLBT Jewish group Dayenu held a dinner last Friday in honour of the couple who first met at a booksellers function at the Metro.

Friendship blossomed into romance, and the couple has felt married ever since their earlier ceremony. They have support from both their parents, who are in their 70s and 80s.

Scott was an incredibly educated man, Ivy League educated and I’d never met anybody so interesting, Whitmont-Stein said.

I never put on my best behaviour when we started going out because I never believed he’d be interested in me. I’ve evolved and our relationship has evolved because he makes me want to be a better man.

Whitmont-Stein, who has since become a registered nurse, has also taken on the ceremony organising. His partner, Whitmont, now owns a bookstore. After the ceremony they will honeymoon at Palm Cove.

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10 responses to “The grooms wore yarmulkas”

  1. What wonderful news.

    And so little brouhaha. Is this a postcard from the future…?

    It’s not really any of my business but I’m interested to know why Scott didn’t capitulate in taking on his partners name.

  2. Lets celebrate this naches (good fortune).

    James, you are the bitter spinster Auntie with a disapproving sniff that appears at every large family gathering.

  3. Interesting that the website for this synagogue states that “The Hebrew word for marriage is Kiddushim, meaning holiness. The act of joining a man and woman together as husband and wife is one of the most sacred and beautiful in our tradition.”

    So this so-called committment ceremony obviously doesn’t mean a whole lot.

  4. The couple can also have their ceremony recognised by the City of Sydney Relationship Declaration program, with the Rabbi’s officiating on behalf of the council during the religious ceremony, who obtain signatures on both copies of the notorised council certificates.
    One really unique thing about the City of Syndney program (in addition to being able to have an off-site ceremony), is that the certificate also records how long the couple have already been together… which is handy for same sex couples who often are together for years before getting to the stage of having a ceremony. E.g. certificate says “___ & ____ have been together as a couple for the past 8 years, and formalised thier relationship today __/__/__”

  5. I think this is fantastic. Two well educated men celebrating their love for each other in a civilised and respectable manner. You’re a real inspiration guys.