V is for:

Vanity Whatever the shortfalls in Sydney’s gay scene, there’s one thing it has in spades: Vanity. From Surry Hills gym bunnies who can never quite be big enough to skinny twinks who can never quite be skinny enough, it’s not hard to find examples.

Newtown junior dykes spend hours sculpting their hair, Paddington business dykes try to perfect the shine on their shoes. And we’re all, generally, over-consumers of bottles and jars of potions in an effort to stay bright, young and fresh. Not to mention the Mardi Gras parade and party, now semi-lit by the weird glow of thousands of fake tans.

Whether it’s the climate or the general fabulousness of the place -“ and no one can tell if we are competing with the city’s beaches and harbour, or enhancing them -“ Sydney breeds vanity. No wonder so many cosmetic companies send product to the Star offices.

Viagra Don’t worry -“ it happens to everyone. Oh, the number of times we have all heard that horrible line in the throes of passion as one or, even more disastrously, both have not been able to rise to the occasion.

The fact is, it actually does happen to everyone, but just hearing that line takes the wind out of any man’s sails and leaves the fragile male ego on the droopy side. Thank goodness Viagra came along to change all that.

What started as a research drug known as sildenafil citrate to treat angina and hypertension was found to have the side effect of treating erectile dysfunction as well, and men across the globe smiled as a result.

A year after the drug was released onto the market under the trade name of Viagra in 1998, it had rung up over a billion dollars in sales, and that number has continued to climb ever since -“ just as the annoying spam emails advertising internet deals for the product.

While Viagra has proved a godsend for men with genuine erectile dysfunction, it has to be remembered it is only a performance enhancer and not the aphrodisiac some anticipate it will be.

It can also be potentially fatal for the heart if amyl nitrate is used at the same time. Taken in accordance with its guidelines, Viagra should be a hard-going good time for all.

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