W is for:

Weddings There’s one very good reason why same-sex couples in Australia should be given the right to marry, and that is to force all our straight married friends and family members to cough up hundreds of dollars on engagement gifts and wedding presents, as we have always been forced to do for them.

Yes, for too long gays and lesbians have not only had to endure long, boring engagement parties and weddings, but we’ve had to buy countless presents off gift registries as well.

And what do we get in return? A big fat load of nothing, that’s what. It’s time gays and lesbians were treated equally. It’s time people bought us overpriced sets of bed sheets, towels, cutlery, placemats, kettles, toasters and orange juice squeezers.

Why should we have to buy these things for ourselves when our straight brothers and sisters get showered with them upon their nuptials?

It’s time the federal government created equal marriage laws. It’s payback time.

Weight For all our bleating about tolerance and inclusion, the gay community does superficial disturbingly well -“ not least where body shape is concerned.

Diversity may be a lovely ideal on banners at Mardi Gras, but a gym-toned bod still rates highest in most parts of the scene. This might explain another weight-related trend, which we’ll call the relationship balloon.

If singles on the scene feel pressure to slim down, those in couples can let it all hang out -“ literally. One Star staff member reports several once-svelte friends have stacked on far more than good energy since meeting their partner -“ something to do with true love being blind, no doubt.

Which still leaves the problem of body fascism unsolved. That’s the bag of people like Maxi Shield, the Star‘s seriously downsized drag columnist.

Having shed 23kg in the past year, Ms Shield is spearheading a body overhaul contest with Stonewall and Gold’s Gym. Styled on television slimfest The Biggest Loser, the contest will showcase normal people, organisers say.

But the logic of celebrating the generously proportioned by urging them to lose weight is odd. Our community superficial? Never.

© Star Observer 2018 | For the latest in lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans* and intersex (LGBTI) news in Australia, be sure to visit starobserver.com.au daily. You can also read our latest magazines or Join us on our Facebook page and Twitter feed.