The hacks on the subs desk at the Daily Tele must be glad that our community can be summed up with such a small and versatile word. Remember Gay School, the headline for a story about same-sex mums on Play School? Now we have Gay Care Centre, the catchy splash for the latest Tele rubbish about a Marrickville Council child-care centre that has a book on its shelf featuring a couple of mums building a tree house.

I can’t wait for the next round of sledging, if only for the headline creativity it inspires. Perhaps a footy player will come out and we’ll have Gaying The Field. And if they ever dare to risk another gay storyline on Neighbours we’ll have Everybody Needs Good Gaybours.

My one-year-old is absolutely obsessed with books. His current favourites include Hug, the story of a little monkey who can’t find his mum. Come to think of it, his mum appears to be a single mother monkey. Not to mention neglectful, leaving her baby monkey to get lost in the middle of the jungle. Quick, ring Morris Iemma!

Another favourite of his is Mem Fox and Judy Horacek’s Where Is The Green Sheep?, which includes images of an overweight sheep, a dangerously underweight sheep and a sheep with a narcissist complex. It also shows a sheep recklessly skiing down a slippery dip and another being fired out of a cannon. Then there’s The Very Hungry Caterpillar, about a binge-eating insect, and We’re Going On A Bear Hunt, about a family who decide to go and bother a bear for no good reason before all getting into bed together.

Won’t someone think of the children?

Anyway, my kid is in an awesome Marrickville Council child-care centre three days a week and the people who work there should be running the country. They are excellent carers, lovely people and can calm a gang of tantrum-ing toddlers with a few gentle, well-chosen words.

I’ve never heard a parent or staff member complain about the diversity at the centre and, as for the kids, they don’t complain about anything, including green sheep, lonely baby monkeys, overweight caterpillars, tree house-building mummies or misguided bear hunts.

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