Make it stop! Listening to six versions of the same song -“ no matter how completely excellent the original is -“ is enough to drive anyone around the bend. If anyone doubts this statement, here is the proof. Dead or Alive’s 1985 classic You Spin Me Round (Like a Record) is a song we all know and we’ve all danced to in various decades and it deserves all of the play it gets. And let’s face it, it still gets dragged out a lot.

So yeah, the record company gets big ups for re-releasing it and celebrating the fact it’s possibly the best Stock, Aitken and Waterman production ever. But why do they have to do it n such a fully annoying way? Six versions? Six? The Metro 7 version sounds like it was recorded by a drunken sound engineer working in a different building. The Metro 12 extended mix version has an interesting sample, kind of like Madonna’s Music, but not much else to applaud. The Mark Moore and Mr Motion remix is a decent enough house track but in the context the you spin me right round baby right round Dead or Alive samples just aren’t that interesting any more. Punx Soundcheck Vs Princess Julia’s effort is a bit of a reprieve -“ at least they try to jazz up Pete Burns’s voice. The D Bop Club mix is camp, and at seven and a quarter minutes, it’s way too bloody long. But just when listening to any more seems like something in a nightmare, version six comes on -“ the three minute 16 second original -“ and it’s easily the pick of the lot.

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