Strike two: What Dalton Heinrich really meant when he said guys over 30 should go home

Strike two: What Dalton Heinrich really meant when he said guys over 30 should go home

THE idea that gay guys who are over 30 years of age need to stop clubbing, according to blogger Dalton Heinrich, hit a nerve both on the Star Observers’ website and social media last week.

But like a moth to the flame, the young writer has this week come out defending his opinion piece, which was originally published on gayguys.com.

“I would like to start this article off by thanking everyone who took the time to read my last piece Gay Guys and the Curse of the Peter Pan Syndrome, whether you agreed or disagreed,” Heinrich wrote in his follow-up piece.

“I now would like to address the reactions I have gotten to my writing.

“I never once in my entire article suggest that men of any age should refrain from going to bars or clubs; the focus of my article was how the men out at clubs acted,” he continues.

“The sad, thirsty man haunting the shadows of 18 and up clubs is slowly killing our culture.

“It is time to fight off this trend of a permanent youth… It is time to tell Peter Pan that you want to go home”

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Heinrich went on to defend his “ageist” remarks in the same breath when paying respect to communities elders, and continuing to defend his opinion.

“I stand by my opinion that in the nightlife scene the way a large amount of gay ‘adults’ act is a sad reflection of a culture,” he wrote.

“I know there are people who make a living off of the nightlife scene and there are successful and mature people who frequent it. There are bar owners, promoters, drag performers, bartenders, event hosts, and much more and I will absolutely admit that my post was NOT referring to them. It was referring to the men who make partying a priority in a desperate attempt to cling to a fraction of their youth and the men that portray immature social attitudes.”

Was Dalton Heinrich’s “defence” any good for you? Or did he just stoke the flame?

 

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21 responses to “Strike two: What Dalton Heinrich really meant when he said guys over 30 should go home”

  1. No one ever stands up for me when I speak out about gay issues from the young man’s perspective. So this time, I’m going to stand up for Dalton.

    He’s absolutely right.

    But first let’s discuss the terms and definitions. Dalton is accused of being ageist and promoting ideology that infringes on the freedom of adult gay men.

    What he ACTUALLY said is quite different. The idea that gay men should embrace aging and adulthood is extremely healthy, albeit unpleasant. You know what we do when we have to do something we don’t like but that is good for us? We suck it up because we’re men, and the cold isn’t going to go away with smiles and wishes. You need MEDICINE. And medicine (truth) doesn’t always taste great.

    I totally agree that there should be a greater focus on accepting adulthood and the responsibility it entails by engaging the family lifestyle, which would be a lot more easier if gay men in general were less predatory and treated the gay community as a family instead of a menu.

    And what this really boils down to is respect. The older gay men who run around tearing shit up and ruining people in pursuit of their youth are doing so as if they own the eco-system in which we all live. They don’t understand, because of their money and family and straight friends and networks of straight people and careers, that for a lot of young gay kids and young gay men, the gay community is our HOME. It’s all we have. We don’t have all those other things. Some of us don’t even have a single friend in the world. We grew up in this community, were abused and abandoned by it, learned to neglect love in favor of sex from it, and we have earned the right to say what we have to say by suffering in loneliness and predation at the hands of people who are clearly enmeshed in an imperialist mindset that allows to destroy and play and cause as much harm or pleasure as they can all in pursuit of pleasure.

    What Dalton and I are trying to say, is that instead of coming into our HOME and fucking shit up for your own amusement, which is inherently destructive to yourselves anyways, why don’t you open your eyes to the fact that you’re in a community that a lot of people depend on for survival, where many CHILDREN and young adults live and exist and rely on for every single need. Open your eyes and be more respectful of this microcosmic environment, our home, our brothers and sisters. This is all we have.

    It would behoove you and others to wake up and realize that we are a community and a family and when you act like we arent, you’re being violent and destructive towards the rest of us, and that tears down the community and affects everyone tangled in it.

    We just want to grow up in a community where love isn’t a myth, it’s a possibility, where we can feel at home in the community, instead of not even in our beds because some of us our trading our youth for financial security, where we can rely on the older ones to teach us things, to make us into real men instead of lying to us, hurting and killing us, infecting us with disease, where we can grow up, fall in love, and raise a family, instead of ending up single and alone on christmas eve, half drunk at the bar, wishing that worn out hustler in the corner would give us the time of day.

    No one’s going to like me for saying this, but nobody likes their mama when she whoops their butt either so it’s not really going to bother me.

    If any of you have one brain cell between you, you will resist the urge to become defensive and lash out with vitriol. All of you who have done this have revealed just how disgusting, stupid, worthless, and utterly vile you truly are.

    After all, if it didn’t apply to you, it wouldn’t have offended you.

  2. He’s right in a way, why would you hang around gay clubs if you’re over 30? Its generally for youths anyway and if you’re still hang in around in them past 40, some things wrong! Music is crap in them anyways

  3. The scene has always had clubs for different types,I myself was a huge fan of the Flinders in my early 20’s.
    I never missed a weekend,I was always there Friday & Saturday night years ago..secretly in love with Puppy the bartender.
    When I turned 27 I felt I had enough,I’d done my right of passage a gay male.I was over the scene and stopped going,not because of my age,because I was tired,burnt out…
    But if your over 30 and you’ve got the energy and time,why not,enjoy it,have fun,don’t listen to this little prick.
    If only he knew what’s in store later on,like buying a house,working many years in the same job,having commitments.
    Personally he can stick the scene up his arse,for everyone else,enjoy it…thanks

  4. I love how everyone is living so much longer and looking and acting so much younger but the age range of what is considered young is between 18-25. such a tiny window to be in. 30 is certainly not old by todays standards and even if it were I would prefer to party with an ‘older’ crowd any day! even better, mixed age crowd! think dotty in studio 54!

    The gay scene has always been mixed its what made it so unique and wonderful.

  5. When did this pusillanimous little mouthpiece get to decide who does what in what clubs? If he likes the idea of the “respectable” older man who sits at home like the genteel pater familiaris, acting as a role model to the youth still in it’s hedonistic phase (well-documented for ending abruptly at age 30), maybe he should check out some of the other lifestyles that hold such constrained views of masculine propriety? I hear the straight world is excellent at deploying normative models for constraining the unseemly behaviours of its members. If you like ageism, you’re going to love slut-shaming. There’s a whole world of possibilities out there for insisting that people adhere to your narrow world views. What next? Telling women not to wear what they want because it might not suit how you think they should appear? Telling the bears that they are too sweaty and hairy and that they should keep their shirts on, because – frankly – according to your egocentric ideals of fun, it’s just no acceptable? Or maybe you could just pull your head in and let people get in with their lives, while you continue shuffling along your own narrow tracks? If you don’t want to go out with other people who have the misfortune of sharing club spaces with you, you could open your own club with a strict door policy and see how that works out (you could even call it “Clones”). Or you could just stay at home. Nobody likes an ignorant whinger. So far, Mr Heinrich, you’re coming across with all the moral authority of Pauline Hanson, when she says “I don’t like it”. That’s not a cool position for a gay blogger struggling to enter adulthood…

  6. I guess this jerk off seems to think he’s better than anyone else. Whilst these articles get a reaction from its readers .. I really don’t think articles like this deserve to be published… one day he will be 30+ ..

  7. Awwww… the poor little blogger/keyboard warrior lost some followers and had his ‘like-whore’ existence put in jeopardy. So in damage control mode he busts out the shovel in a vain attempt to dig himself out of the hole!

    Sad. Lame. Self Serving. You sir are what is wrong with our community. You have been found guilty of your crimes. May your punishment be never getting another like or follower on your blog site. I’m sure to you that’s a fate worse than death.

    Grow up. Grow up. Grow up.

  8. By many accounts, Sydney is remarkable for having such an intensely ageist gay scene.

    People are people, this absurd fiction that some arbitrary (always self-defined) age limit should govern who is attracted to whom is utterly ridiculous.

    Perhaps this culture of intolerance explains why the Sydney gay scene is so appallingly juvenile as to be an embarrassment to every gay man that doesn’t identify with the superficial “pretty boy” syndrome?

  9. I wouldn’t usually favour such a stuck-up little prick with further reaction, but I’d like to inject a bit of genuine reason to this topic.

    According to all current psychology that I’m aware of, adolescence is estimated to end, in most people, around 25 years of age.

    Therefore, anyone and everyone over 25 years old is expected to be manifesting adulthood.

    So where does he get this absurdly unscientific “30 years old” watershed?

    I want to know how old this vacuous blogger is, because if he’s over 25 (as he most certainly appears to be from the photo) then he has NO place in what he defines as a sub-adult social milieu.

  10. I thumbs down this article not because of what he said, but because of the biased manner in which the article has been written. And to quote the tool on facebook:

    “Such facepalm. Much ugh” to this article.

  11. Wanker!! I’m 37 tend to go clubbing now and then, and I look younger than most of those 20 something guys!!
    I’m certainly not there lurking in the shadows trying to pick up an 18yo!! I prefer them ‘around my age!! When I am there to pickup that is! Usually I’m there to have fun and enjoy myself.

  12. I find it puzzling as to why this magazine keeps entertaining these thoughts. I party globally and the twinks-only scene is present no-where except in this “writer’s” head. My understanding was that we as a GLBT community seek acceptance and equality, yet we as a community entertain such silly and utterly unequal concepts as indicated in this narrow-minded-abbottesque article. Go mister writer, live in your twenties only world and see how you keep the clubs alive?

  13. What a little asshole!

    It is just that kinda talk that keeps me out of clubs… I’m 32 and I stopped clubbing when I was about 24, sick of little bitches like him.

  14. Given that the bars are basically going out of business, as their entire business model is ruined by lockout regulations, hookup apps, taxes, and suburban sprawl, encouraging people of any age to stay away sounds like a recipe for their complete demise.

    If anything since the older guys are more financially stable, perhaps the younger guys should be the ones to stay away.

  15. Really, who cares what this prat thinks? People making any comment on this (yes, even me now) are stoking the flames. He deserves no comment at all.

  16. What a sad little man. I can hear the screeching from here. I sense an entitled, self-important, me-generation, self-obsessed person suffering small-dick syndrome. I’ll waste no more time on him

  17. “WANKER” Get a life……Try say “NO” to anyone over thirty that finds you atractive, it odes work …

    Mind you with your twink looks of Blue Eyes and Blonde gouche hairstyle, (more common then Rats Tails use to be….), I for one would take a very obvious side step from you , as I deem you to be a very Expensive Hangeron, that us over Thirty prefer not to indulge………Call me in 20 years dear ….. Ill knock you back then too !!!!!