Sunday Satire: Five things gay men need to stop staying

Sunday Satire: Five things gay men need to stop staying

THE “gay vocabulary” includes catch phrases that are fun and have become widely used.

While most are fun and harmless, there are a few circling around that need to stop being used.

Here there are:

 

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“Hey girl”

The gay version of “hey mate”, “hey girl” is sometimes used to greet a fellow gay man.

Sorry, unless you are in fact a girl (or identify as female), this has got to stop.

Even if you are an over-the-top camp gay man, this has to stop.

 

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“You’re too pretty to be a lesbian”

This one is for the ladies.

Straight men, gay men, straight women and lesbian women themselves have said at some point “you’re too pretty to be a lesbian” to an attractive woman who happens to be a lesbian and does not fit the stereotypical butch lesbian with short peroxide blonde hair.

This generalisation of what a woman’s sexual preference should be based on her looks, needs to stop.

 

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“Straight acting”

“I’m straight acting, I’m looking for straight acting only.”

While some gay men may not be into the camp type gay men, this catch phrase needs to be killed and buried for good.

Just because you are into sports, love your beer or spend a lot of time lifting weights and drinking protein shakes, this does not make you “straight acting”. Heck, there is no such thing as “straight acting”.

And technically, there is nothing “straight” about a man being attracted to another man. You’re gay (or bi). Be proud of it.

 

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“I’m living that … “

I’m living that make-up, I’m living that outfit, I’m living that song. Wait, you’re living that what?

Surely you mean you are loving something, not living something? Is this a case of malfunction with the vowels in your vocabulary?

You are already living life, so to live an inanimate object like some ones make-up or a song playing at the club is just not physically possible. Stop saying that you are you living that.

 

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“We’re in an open relationship”

Right, sure you are. But does your partner know that you are in an open relationship? Or have you just decided that you are now in an open relationship, because your relationship has hit a stale period in the bedroom and you need to get your rocks off?

If you are in fact in an open relationship, and you and partner have communicated that clearly, then that is fine. No one has a right to judge whatever works for you.

However, don’t go lying to others saying that you are in an open relationship when really, you’re not. Not only does this lie perpetuate a negative gay stereotype (you know, the one that uber-conservative homophobes love to obsess over to argue we’re not ready for marriage equality) – most of all, the lies you say will only end up hurting people.

 

With that, this are the top five things gay men need to stop saying. Effective immediately.

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What do you think gay men need to stop saying? Comment below.

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3 responses to “Sunday Satire: Five things gay men need to stop staying”

  1. “Straight acting” – I couldn’t agree more- yuk! What a vile phrase! One can only feel sorry for the poor sad stuffers who feel so bad about themselves this is the best description they can give of themselves. Sorry boys – don’t “act” – acting is false, not real, dishonest, misleading. Such a phrase can only be used to describe oneself if you are profoundly unhappy and insecure with yourself . Don’t kid yourself – if you are so pretentious and dishonest you have to misrepresent yourself with that phrase, chances are an old queen like me out there is going to see right through you and out the other side anyway. Give it up honey – just be yourself and those that really matter will like you anyway.

  2. Thing is – There are a lot of us who have bucked the heteronormativity of closed dyadic (2 person monogamy) relationships and are in fact in some form of open relationships. In my experience, most of us who are in honestly open relationships don’t go advertising that to our straight friends and colleagues for the “negative gay stereotypes” reason you say we need to stop saying it, but I think you overstate the need to eradicate it from our vocabulary. We just need to honest it about.