Shock news: leather shrinks!
For years I have been informed by many in the know that leather stretches the more it is worn. I have news for those who have pushed this line: leather shrinks!
Well, OK, my leather seems to have shrunk. It seems like just a few years ago I could slip into the full catastrophe, from a leather cap perched rakishly atop my noggin all the way down my body — leather shirt and Dynasty-like shoulder-padded jacket, leather shorts under a pair of delicious leather chaps — to my be-leathered feet in a pair of boots.
Alas, that look is no longer possible.
Last time I tried the shirt on I couldn’t get the press-stud buttons to close over my tummy and likewise the leather shorts and chaps had shrunk so I couldn’t do them up.
An unkind observer suggested that perhaps it wasn’t the leather shrinking but that I had grown (as I’ve matured) something of a paunch in the area below my chest and above my crotch. Unkindness indeed.
So perhaps it is true that the leather has expanded, just not enough to cover the expansion of my tummy. Oh fate, how cruel thou art. So I asked myself the question “What does a tired old leather queen do with a collection of well-worn, yet still quality, used leather and fetish gear?” Fortunately the team at JOY 94.9 and the David Williams Fund (DWF) together with the boys at the Laird Hotel have an answer to my despairing question.
On Sunday, August 7 from 3pm until midnight at the Laird in Abbotsford the first Annual Northside Bizarre will be happening. This event, open to all aged 18 and over, including women, is sort of a leather/fetish market-come-auction with a twist.
There will be an awesome range of mainly non-fetish items up for auction (all auction proceeds go to the charities), plus live performances and fetish fashion shows.
Guys and gals with leather/fetish gear that no longer suits (or fits) can set up shop alone or with a few mates. Tables and racks will be available for hire at a reasonable rate with money going to them and a minimum 25 percent to JOY and DWF.
You can sell your gear knowing you’re supporting our community at the same time. The bonus is great quality used leather and fetish gear to beef up your current or as yet unowned collection.
In Melbourne’s best beer garden your favourite presenters from JOY 94.9 will cook up a storm at the gold coin BBQ.
By Tex McKenzie
To donate for the auction or to book stalls, email to [email protected]
