Downloading love

By ANTHONY LOWE
If I had five cents for every dollar I have been asked for in Oxford St lately I would be rich. And if I had $1 for every $2 I had been asked for lately I would be well off.
If I had a cigarette for every cigarette I had been asked for while on Oxford St I would have a stockpile of them. Then I would sell them for a $1 each and be rich.
Yes, it is a fact; the cost of living is skyrocketing. Mortgages have gone up, rent has gone up, and electricity and gas have gone up.
In fact, the only thing that does not seem to have gone up is our income.
Venues are struggling to stay open as we have less money to throw around. It is expensive to go clubbing, or even just drinking for that matter. Calculate this: entry fee, taxi (if you need one) and three vodka and Redbulls.
So what are we all doing to keep ourselves amused? I think you should sit down before I tell you … oh hang on, you already are! We are downloading love! Yes, that is what I said, downloading love!
Yes, why would you leave the comfort of your own home to look for love these days?
You can just log on and find whatever you want at the touch of your fingers sitting in front of your own computer screen.
The hardest part is creating your own profile. Yes, I know you call it artistic licence when you claim that you are really 32 years old. And that’s how old you were when that picture was taken 20 years ago.
But that is one of the perils of downloading love. It can be a little of a mystery package right up until the moment it arrives at the door.
And what do you do when the goods don’t match the advertised product? Well, you will obviously need a drink, so I suggest you head to one of our venues and buy one.
While you are having that drink look around and flash a few cheeky smiles … and see what’s about to take home.