Heard of the Ben Cousins meal at Maccas? There’s no burger or fries, just ice and coke.

Yes, jokes like this are doing the rounds again as celebs revisit tedious headlines in very public drug and alcohol snares. Paris Hilton, Mel Gibson, Matthew Newton. Etc.

It’s worse than AM radio.

I was going to pontificate about drugs and the law, then decided we should probably know what constitutes legal hoo-ha and what doesn’t. I don’t mean to sound like a wet SpongeBob, but if you can’t do the time, don’t do the crime.

Yes, it could be argued joints or pills are less ruinous than alcoholism, and I’m all for harm minimisation. But chemicals like ice, GHB, and heroin are a curse. They destroy lives. And the whole drug hierarchy argument is best avoided. Buzzwords like ‘recreational’ and ‘party’ often mask very real problems.

“Sometimes we see young people who use drugs and alcohol in reaction to how they feel perceived by the world,” Twenty10’s managing director Rebecca Reynolds told SSO. “Sometimes this has been strongly homophobic or transphobic. Sometimes that experience tells them others like them better after their first drink, or their second pill.”

Some of our events and venues are linked to substance use. But apart from the obvious lack of rhythm, is this so different from straight ‘recreational users’ who indulge every weekend?

Personally, the Ben Cousins ‘doco’ shat me. I didn’t see the remorse of a fallen ‘role model’. Ill-considered references to ‘the good times’ along with reports of a $600K payout for his tell-all made me go an even darker shade of purple, as we endured his twitching face and chemical-fuelled revtardary.

Paris Hilton is another. It’s beyond me why anyone looks up to these people. Their narcissistic cycles of self-destruction are being glorified. When did a hint of sex appeal and the personality of a doorknob give people free licence to be so puerile? At least Moon Face Junior has a bit of talent. He just (allegedly) beats women as well. Yes, all the good ones are taken.

But seriously, kids; be safe. One day you’re asking strangers if they’ve seen your water bottle in a club, next you’re begging for change for ‘some hot chips’ and selling copies of The Big Issue.

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