First I was afraid, I was petrified

First I was afraid, I was petrified

I truly believe that coming out is one of the hardest, most excruciating and mentally challenging actions a human can perform.

But it’s also one of the most rewarding, courageous and even spiritually fulfilling events that can not only open your life to new experiences, but also open the minds of those around you.

To me, coming out was a necessity to living a happy life, and I’m sure many would feel the same. Which is why it is such a shame that we still live in a time where so many young people feel pressure to stay in the closet out of fear of rejection by their peers and family.

Before I came out, my biggest issues surrounding being gay weren’t my family — they were my own fears of not having children and not having a family. To me, those were more important than anything I already had.

At its essence, the key to understanding the importance of coming out, is that it’s a time where you stand to lose so much, but it’s also a time where you will get so much in return.

It’s a gamble, that’s for sure. A true ‘rolling of the dice’.

And so, to those who have not yet come out or who are thinking of coming out but are too afraid to — just do it.

Your life may become harder. In fact, I guarantee it will be a bumpy ride, but now is a better time then ever to set yourself free. And always remember, if your parents don’t accept you, if your friends turn their backs on you or your town chases you with pitchforks, it’s them that has the problem, not you, and there is always somewhere you can go.

In the end, you have to do what is best for you, and maybe coming out isn’t that, but if you feel it is, then go for it!

BY JESSE MATHESON

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8 responses to “First I was afraid, I was petrified”

  1. I think it’s important every gay person accepts their sexuality, which includes coming out. However, we have to put the welfare of the youth before pressurising them, for any reason, to come out. Having your parents or friends reject you, or “the town chase you with pitchforks” can cause serious depression, self abuse, and suicide in gay youth. That has to be counterbalanced though with the fact that staying in the closet, hating oneself, and not accepting one’s sexuality may also have the same effect. However, some people come from sadistically homophobic places, a great many in rural Australia, find they can only come out when they reach adulthood and move to the city. For example, the gay half-brother of Bob Katter can come out on national television but refuses to return to Mt. Isa, a town which at present is trying to prevent a gay rally organised by a resident, and, having failed to obstruct it, is now attempting to refuse it access to council property, including public streets.

    http://www.crikey.com.au/2011/09/08/duped-by-katter-a-civil-libertarian-as-long-as-youre-not-gay/

    ;) :)

  2. You are a courageous young man and I love how you question life. Jesse is really putting himself out there by writing about his opinion on a topic which is then judged by the general public. Gee that’s tough for anyone. I am Jesse’s Mum and though I don’t always agree with him but I do respect him for having an individual thought.

  3. Arrjaydub it’s very easy to just dismiss Mr Matheson’s piece without actually understanding all that he is saying. He isn’t offering advice all he is doing is offering encouragement based on his own experiance.
    He talks about his own reasons for coming out and his own fears about being open about his sexuality.
    It seems rather cruel to then jump on him and demand something ‘deep’.
    Remember it is an opinion piece NOT a researched journalistic argument.
    In other words ‘cut him some slack’.

  4. Saying “There is always somewhere to go” is not going to help a financially dependant young person who may lose their accomodation and have to drop out of education. Coming out is best when it is planned and the individual has the necessary supports in place to be able to deal with a worst case scenario.
    Saying “There has never been a better time to come out” ignores the fact that each persons circumstances are unique and that political improvements and increasing levels of acceptance at a community level may not be a part of everyones reality.
    In short a very poorly written article that fails to grasp the complexities of the issue on any level.

  5. I think that’s a bit harsh. He’s not attempting to give anyone a serious coming out plan or counsel them through the admitted ‘bumpy ride’.
    He’s simply giving a reflexive opinion of coming out, after the fact, in a situation where the grass is truly greener on the other side.

    People are so hung up on ‘the best way of coming out’ and things like that these days. Coming out in the world today is vastly different than it was even 10 or 20 years ago. This is just a brief, not necessarily oversimplified, perspective from one of today’s openly LGBTI youth.

  6. I found this article touching and from the heart, like you said not everyone in life will agree with your decisions, but at the end of the day, you only have yourself to answer to, so i agree just do it, life is to short, and to the above stop with the hating, lol.

  7. What a ridiculous piece of psychobabble. The author of this piece has managed to seriously oversimplify what is clearly an important but exceedingly difficult process for anyone in the GLBT community. Instead of providing appropriate encouragement and support, you’ve pronounced that youths should ‘just do it’. This article is completely ineffective and of no use to anyone going through this process.