Is it over yet?

“I just can’t stand looking at her with that bird nose, and the way she talks,” said the blokey bloke about Gillard to the receptionist in the doctor’s surgery. “But I can’t vote for that clown Abbott either. He’s got no policies.”

And this pretty much echoes sentiment across the nation.

Yes, everyone’s confused. A spendthrift Labor Government refusing to budge on same-sex marriage, and the Mad Monk can’t even explain his own party’s NBN alternative, which is crud by the way. And just when you thought the madness was over, Latham pops ups with his clipboard looking like he’s had a big night on the turps and forgotten how to dress himself.

I can’t wait for it to be over.

But the sad fact is blokey bloke in the doctor’s surgery exemplifies those who vote on personality rather than policy. It’s unsettling just how many people don’t know what they’re voting for.

Buggery, bollocky, stupid people.

Possibly the biggest impact will be the 400,000+ first-time voters, many of whom are still scratching their heads. Thankfully, younger voters tend to question the status quo and do a bit of research. They haven’t fallen into that idle myopia where the ignorant vote as they always have. Honestly, if I hear one more demented xenophobe spouting off about sending the boat people back to their own country or banning the burqa, I think I might become a communist.

When did we become a nation of yokels full of fear and hate?

And another thing. I detest the whole archaic voting process. It’s inconvenient. And it stresses me out. The crazed pamphlet people on your way in. The organised chaos in some dank school hall or depressing community centre. The cardboard booths, the pencils on string. The humungous ballot paper. There has to be an easier way. Isn’t there an iPhone app for that?

But I digress.

Family First has made more atrocious homophobic slurs, and we saw a vicious slew of bashings on Oxford St recently. Contrast this with a cracking turn-out for Sydney’s same-sex rights rally and it’s apparent that equality continues to elude us.

Religious radicals still hate us and maniacal bigots continue to bash us. But in possibly the most confused and lacklustre election yet, I figure at least I know how I’m voting.

I’m voting for our rights.
Just wake me when it’s all over.