I admire folks who’ll do whatever it takes to achieve their dreams. And when I come across folks like this, I’ll do whatever I can to help them. Especially if they’ll let me write a column about it. So here it is.
Last week my girlfriend and I were contacted by our interstate lesbian pals who were visiting Sydney the very next day and after a place to crash. The couple have been wonderful hosts to us before so under normal circumstances we’d say “of course” without giving it much thought.
But this wasn’t your typical Sydney weekend away. Our two friends are trying to make a gayby and a case of awkward timing meant their male donor was holidaying in Sydney just before the potential birth-mum was ovulating. If you don’t know the significance of this, join the club. We can all fail at womanhood together.
Apparently there are only three or so days a month when a woman can get her baby-making magic on and pre-ovulation is peak fertility time. Well there you go.
The donor is a mate of the girls who lives close to their home and has donated a few times before. So rather than miss an opportunity while he was away, the girls decided to follow him to Sydney. Now that’s what I call dedication.
The guy was ok with this plan so all they needed was a place to do the deed – somewhere where he could privately wank into a cup while they waited patiently nearby. Then they’d insert the boy bit into the girl bit using a plastic syringe and do the rainbow equivalent of the birds and the bees. I guess our home could be that place?
We explained to the girls that our apartment is rather open-plan, as in no bedroom door, but it didn’t seem to worry them. So that, and the fact we weren’t going to be home that night anyway, meant we were happy to be part of the community that helped make their little monkey – on the condition they brought their own cup. We provided tissues, towels and mood enhancing incense.
And that’s what happened. Team work, people. As queers, the things that come so easy to our heterosexy friends often require a bit more effort. So next time a clucky lesbian couple asks to crash at yours, be a pal. You might just learn something.
INFO: You can follow Monique Schafter on Twitter @MoniqueSchafter
