My heterophobic rant

My heterophobic rant

“Make way for the lady, honey,” the dowdy soccer Mom snickered to her ill-behaved child in the supermarket, as I struggled to shove my receipt in my wallet and process what had just happened.

The cow was insulting me.

Yes, a total stranger making snide remarks about the stressed gay guy at the checkout. The kid only made matters worse.

“That’s not a lady mummy, that’s a man,” she shrieked, attracting even more attention.

Seems some of the less enlightened natives got a keen eye for us fancy, city-slicker types; lest we encroach upon their little slice of mediocrity.

Said brouhaha reminded me of times I’ve been labelled ‘heterophobic’ But if I may; I really have a problem with this term. The concept of reverse discrimination isn’t without merit. Have a harmless jibe at straight people though, and prepare yourself for this naff little catch-cry.

Sure, some won’t deign to venture outside the gay ghettos. Bitchy queens calling women sardines or dykes laughing at men. But they’re in the minority. For the most part, we’re just trying to make our way in the world like every other schmo. We’re the cops who turn up at your door. The paramedics who save your life. The artists, academics and musicians who nourish your soul. And the quiet guy digging ditches with you at work; yep, him too.

I was going to preface this rant, but then wondered why. Besides, some of my best friends are heterosexual. If only they’d tone it down a bit.

Heterophobia indeed!

How about you take a few hundred unprovoked punches to the face, be spat on, lose a few jobs, and be bashed within an inch of your life for holding hands with your partner? How about growing up in isolation, being taught to feel worthless? Or what if your own family turned their backs on you on account of your ‘lifestyle choice.’

What if you weren’t allowed to marry the person you love?

Try walking a mile in our shoes. Then maybe we’ll talk. Until then, I guess you’ll return to your relatively unchallenged world; a world you possibly take for granted. Forgive me, I don’t mean to sound crabby Okay, maybe just a little. You know why? Because I smile in the face of adversity.

And you, my friend, don’t even know what it is.

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6 responses to “My heterophobic rant”

  1. I dunno Connie. That’s what she said with a big grin on her face. Her idea of an insult I’d imagine. Maybe I’m more effeminate than I realised, LOL.

    I don’t think she was morbidly obese, Phil – but she was definitely on the heavier side. I was stressed at the time, so wasn’t armed with any incisive bon mots. Aah well.

    Thanks for the comments.

  2. Excellently said and an excellent point Damien. There are a few times I have been falsely accused of reverse discrimination like this the moment I make an observation about someone who also happens to be heterosexual. I believe Asquith may have missed the point and hijacked the article to express the very views you are discussing that lead heterosexuals to label us this way though. What’s the valium and GBH comment supposed to mean ?? Bit of a worry lol Thanks to The Star for another great read

  3. Im Hetrophobic and I will always will be I am sick of straight people putting us as second citizens (yes all you hetro morons who are reading it is still a reality)and they do it in such a smug way like its their right too.

    Whats even worse is the whole spill of ALWAYS being there for your straight friends/family but when you have a gay problem… ohhh howdy watch them run.

    The other thing I hate is how straight people come on this sight and post there offensive/contraversial views but yet claim they have nothing against gays (they almost make it a sport)

    OHHH and dont get me started with straights taking over our clubs.. I think ill stop now! anyone have a valium?? (wait valium is more of a straight drug.. GBH anyone??) lol

  4. No ladies in line that day! Why do I just KNOW the woman who made the remark was morbidly obese?