When it comes to sex toys and new relationships, what are the rules? Some buddies and I were recently discussing whether or not it’s creepy to bring a device that’s given you and previous partners happy endings into a new romance.
We’re talking all manner of pokey, tickly and buzzy inside/outside gadgets — the stuff you occasionally whip out to add some variety to the bedroom (or loungeroom, kitchen or backyard, depending on your appetite for variety).
One of us reckons it’s gross because of the hygiene factor. Sure, we don’t generally share our undies around even after we’ve washed them. But then again, undies don’t cost hundreds of dollars. Considering you can boil and sterilise most toys, is it irrational to fork out for a new appendage each time you meet someone special?
Not very enviro-friendly either — just think of all the kinky landfill!
Some resourceful ladies use ‘protection’ on their equipment — making use of all those free condoms you get at Mardi Gras each year (I often wondered why they gave them to lesbians). Definitely a safer and more financially viable option for those of us not in long-term relationships. But does that make the sharing thing less icky?
I think the creepy factor is more symbolic. It’s about the toy’s relationship baggage more than anything ‘dirty’. Maybe not so much for vibrators which you may have mainly used on your good self, but dildos in particular can bring back mood-killing reminders of previous lovers. Even if that’s the last thing on your mind, there’s a good chance your partner might be less than turned on knowing, or even wondering, where it’s been.
But while a sex toy is a third party in the sack, for some chicks it may be as much a part of them as their fingers (which you would assume have done their fair share of travelling). They may not want to replace a device that’s taken them a sexual lifetime to master — and master very well. In this instance, sharing is caring.
Whatever the case, it just comes down to what you and your lady (or ladies) find hot. But if you aren’t too attached to your most intimate toys, emptying the tool box and starting afresh can be a super fun expedition for all involved.
By MONIQUE SCHAFTER
I think realistically, with the price of toys being between $50 and $150 there’s no need for guys to carry these from partner to partner. If there’s a split, she keeps them and he can start fresh with his new partner.