Letters to the editor

MOVING TRIBUTE

Re Robert Walmsley’s In Memoriam (SSO 932), I would like to thank his partner Adrian for publishing such a beautiful and heartfelt tribute to his late soul mate.

I have no idea who these guys are as I came to the gay community years after Robert had passed away. However, reading this memorial touched me deeply. It was a beautiful reminder of the deep and intensely loving relationships that we can, and do, share with our partners in our community.

Sometimes this reality can be overlooked or forgotten with all the partying and politics.

I hope everyone in our community gets to experience and share such a deeply loving and beautiful relationship as Adrian and Robert so obviously shared.

-” Greg, Wollongong

MEN’S RIGHTS

Thank you, Allan from Bondi Junction, for your reply to my letter. I’m glad to have some insight into other people’s views.

The gay community should be asking themselves this question, How far do we have to go in compromising ourselves in the name of acceptance and equality?

Family support is a moral and ethical issue, not just for gay men but for all the community to discuss and debate.

Men are finding themselves paying support for children they did not even know they had. And DNA is being denied by the other half of the child. Men are left high and dry by this dilemma. Not knowing if they are the father or not, they are still getting bills for payment of family support and being treated as nothing more than a sperm donor.

Do you want to be labelled a sperm donor and nothing else, with no dignity? I think not.

It is well documented men in the past have been used as nothing more than a sperm donor -” in some instances, gay men.

Gay men could very well find themselves in this situation if they are not fully informed and given full protection under the law in regards to their rights. The financial burden and responsibility are enormous in bringing up a child. The next 20 years or so are a long-time commitment.

Are you financially secure to raise a child?

Do you have a career that can financially support a child?

Do you live in an environment and home suitable to raise a child?

These questions and more you should be asking yourselves. This could very well ruin gay men’s lives, and not just financially.

It’s time to stand up for men’s rights, gay and straight.

-” John, Surry Hills

THANKS, ACON

I was a volunteer and committee member of many years for the Luncheon Club, so it was a sad day when Carole Ann told me that, due to lack of funds and resources, the Luncheon Club would have to close in the not too distant future unless we could get someone to take over our services.

Carole Ann went to ACON, who fortunately came to our aid. A partnership which included the Bobby Goldsmith Foundation was born.

Our 777 clients plus volunteers would still have a Luncheon Club to go to for meals, use the Larder, get clothes and household goods, companionship, and have people to talk to and enjoy each other’s company.

I was a bit concerned at the idea of the partnership at first, but now three months later I must thank ACON and BGF for the wonderful way they have handled the changeover. The team members that they have sent to the centre are really helpful and have done a great job, are great at getting things done, and they listen to any concerns from the clients and volunteers.

The Larder is fully stocked with food, the meals are excellent, and thanks to a great team of volunteers the numbers of people attending on a Monday and Wednesday are up, and we have the resources of both ACON and BGF on hand.

I would also like to thank all the donors and supporters of the Luncheon Club who have stood by us over the years, and to thank you for the support you are continuing to provide us.

-” Bill, Sydney

RIDE, BABY

I was a member of Dykes on Bikes for three years before I actually went to any event or even spoke to anyone.

A little bit scared, a little bit shy. I was new to bikes and I didn’t want to look stupid.

Wasting those three years was the most stupid thing I did, I think. I finally spoke to someone, ended up at a weekend away, and within six months I was voted in on to the committee as the media officer.

A new website, some fancy videos and picture slides here and there -” I think I wowed them with my Gizmology.

My first Mardi Gras was 2004. It rained all day. I think I was officially drenched to the bone.

I was scared, nervous, excited. When it came time to ride, the rain stopped. The screaming, the cheering and the noise were overwhelming, phenomenal.

It is the best feeling but, to tell you the truth, it didn’t really hit hard until after I got home, showered and changed and headed out to the after-party that it just hit me like a shock wave.

Each year is still exciting, but the first is obviously the most overwhelming.

Since then the weekends away, the day rides, the charity rides -” it’s all great.

I decided to give the top job a go and was president in the 19th year (2006-2007). Unfortunately, work commitments overruled after this first year as president and I had to leave the committee altogether, but I still remain in spirit as the webmistress.

These guys are great, whether they turn up to one event or all the events. The sense of being in a collective group of sisters/women/riders/friends is fantastic.

-” Giz, Sydney

WHAT A BUZZ

My first memory of the Dykes on Bikes was in 2000. It was then that I first joined the group in the Mardi Gras parade.

I was terrified seeing all these woman dressed in leather standing there wondering who I was.

I nervously positioned my bike praying that I wouldn’t drop it. I think I would have died if I did. I really felt like a baby dyke.

The best part of the parade is riding through the streets of Sydney.

There is a oneness riding with my sisters, a feeling I have never felt before.

You think that is the best bit but then it gets even better. The screaming crowds and the noise of the engines revving down Oxford St are like nothing else I have experienced.

-” Adrienne, Bronte

20 YEARS ON BIKES

I watched the parade for years before I finally became involved. I walked with BGF, then I was a marshal and finally I got to ride on the back of a bike with the DOBs. The first time I travelled down the parade route as part of this amazing group of women I thought that nothing would ever be able to top the sensation. I was wrong.

After hanging around with these girls for quite a while without having a bike licence I decided it was time to pull out my finger (figuratively) and get on board. In 2008 I rode by myself (and I got to travel up and back). I doubt anything can surpass that feeling of excitement, nervous tension and ego-stroking adoration. It felt like everyone was cheering just for me -” I can only assume this is how a rock star feels.

Although I love the buzz of the parade it is even more important that I get to spend the rest of my year with these wonderful women on day rides, weekends away and special events like the Black & White Ball.

Dykes on Bikes may be covered in black leather but they have hearts of gold.

-” Lyn, Sydney

FAR FROM HARMLESS

I am writing to you to complain of Phillip Adams’s use of the word poofy in his interview with Graeme Blundell.

A person with Adams’s intellectual capacity should know that amiable derision may seem harmless.

But on air the naughty self-indulgent [wink wink] transgression of a figure with his authority gives weight to many others behaving likewise. Very quickly it translates into violence on the street.

Adams would know that this very situation of mild naughty but harmless derision was how anti-semitism was able to pervade Weimar Germany.

As a gay man I can assure you that at street level our society is rife with homophobia.
Adams should know better. As a supporter of Soviet culture in his earlier days he would be conversant with the practice of re-education.

Perhaps he could practise his own version on air. One topic relevant to his transgression is the ubiquity of heterosexual men in the IT industry being homophobic.

-” Anton, Tempe

FAMILY VALUES

It takes a man and a woman to make a baby. They may not be in a relationship together, they may never have been in a relationship together. They may not have had sex with each other -” if it’s an anonymous donor they may not have even met.

Sometimes the woman who gives birth to the child will not be biologically related to it. Sometimes either the man or woman who make the baby will elect not to parent it, for their own reasons or those of someone else.

What makes a family is a group of people who have a sincere, enduring love and commitment to each other.

They may not all be related to each other. In some cases there may be a child from a previous relationship, in some cases there may be no children at all.

Sometimes the children in the relationship may have the same biological parents, sometimes they may share one biological parent, and sometimes they may not share biological parents at all.

It may include extended family and friends, and sometimes, relatives, even close relatives, may not be a part of the family through their own choosing.

Love makes a family. This is as true for heterosexual families as it is for families where the parents are of the same gender.

-” Andrew, St Peters