The queen’s message

You know you are getting older when Christmas seems like it was here just yesterday. Years seem to melt away like butter on a nice slice of toast. Stories all start with, When I was young -¦ and you find yourself, like a visiting tourist, converting prices into what things used to cost.

As this will be my last column for 2005 before coming back afresh for 2006 (well, I hope so anyway) I have decided to reflect on what 2005 has brought.

All in all, 2005 has been a fabulous year for me. I live with two great sister-girlfriends Vanity Faire and Stacii Gayski. Granted we fight about late rent, a messy house, animals and misplaced stuff. Living and working together is hard at the best of times, but try having three showgirls all starved for attention -“ it can sometimes be murder.

When it comes down to it, it has been a pleasure living with the girls, and working with them is even better. It must be -“ we won a DIVA, goddammit!

Then there was my amazing transformation. I look in the mirror and sometimes and can’t believe it myself. Was I really that big? I must have been because I look so small now. To think with guidance from Katy Try and City Gym and my eternal fear of actually looking bigger on film I could drop 20 kilos! That is almost carry-on luggage.

I have boys actually looking at me, which is crazy. I have never had boys look at me in that special let’s-go-to-the-toilets-and-get-to-know-each-other way. Not unless I was dressed as a pretty lady. Either way I never go, but it is good to get the offer, if you know what I mean.

Now for the love department -¦ Granted this trail has been a very rocky road. My ability to fall madly in love at the drop of a hat seemed to hinder my search this year. A sexy guy who walks too close to me at Coles may soon find himself the target of my undying love.

That and the uncanny gift I have of been drawn to dickheads. Now I am not indicating that all those have been arseholes, just the majority of them. But after a major flatmate discussion, I realised I am in the same boat as so many others out there. My search for my perfect man will have to carry over to 2006.

Finally, to everyone who has supported me, come and seen my shows or even just come over and congratulated me, to all the clubs that have employed me and all the staff that have looked after me, thank you for making this year as fabulous as it has been.

With new year’s resolutions in the planning, I feel that 2006 is only going to be bigger and better. I hope you all have a great Christmas and an even better new year. Please be safe and let’s look after each other.

Love, Maxi.