Julia, are you listening?

Julia, are you listening?

This morning my phone woke me earlier than usual with a text from one of my sons, who regularly taps into American politics in the middle of the night. “Obama has come out for gay marriage – how about that!”

How about that? Why should he care at 6 o’clock in the morning, or think I would care? Why should anyone care?

Well, I think there is very little doubt that people will care about this. My son cares because he believes in justice and human rights, and because both his parents are in long-term committed gay relationships which are not equal to the one they were in when they were married to each other.

I care about equality too, and whether or not I would choose to marry my long-term partner is not nearly as important as the degree to which I value my right to do so.

The other people who will care about Obama’s stand are the opponents of same-sex marriage whose views are nicely summarised in the Fox News headline, “Obama Flip Flops, declares war on marriage”. These are the people for whom letting gay people marry spells the end of civilisation as we know it, and degrades the sacred union between a man and a woman in a way that escalating divorce rates and highly publicised extra-marital affairs have apparently failed to do.

These are the people who enjoy the accommodation that our own Prime Minister has made by holding a line so out of touch with the rest of her politics and, indeed her party, that it is manifestly absurd. They are not going to like the very public stand taken by the most powerful leader in the western world and are going to want to see him pay for it in the polls. And maybe he will – another reason for me to applaud his courage.

Ultimately, why I care most about this is simply because it will make big news. A lot of closeted same-sex attracted young people all over the world are going to hear about it and know someone really big is in their corner. In research we released last month, nearly 4000 gay, lesbian and bisexual people commented on relationship recognition in a way that clearly indicated it was most valued by young people.

We have also been conducting research for over a decade with same sex attracted young people and seen many of them move from timid and browbeaten victims of homophobia to bold advocates who are going to fight to have it all.

Nevertheless they are still widely exposed to unchallenged homophobic violence and abuse, at school, in public and sometimes even at home. A message from Obama, believe me, is going to bite into some of this appalling societal neglect.

Older gay and lesbian people have made their various accommodations around formalising relationships, but this is not the case for younger people. When they get around to telling their parents they are same-sex attracted, they want to look forward to the same prospects of family recognition and celebration as do their heterosexual siblings.

They want to spend obscene amounts of money on wedding outfits and flowers, buy houses in the suburbs, have children, win seats on the school council, have easy friendship with neighbours, access good counselling services when marriages derail and command respect for their grief if they come apart.

Much of this may seem entirely possible now, and the recent changes that made same-sex relationships equivalent to de facto ones in Australia have certainly helped make it so.

But it is not all quite possible yet. Powerful forces are still saying gay people cannot be quite the same; that we are not entitled to make this one particular choice to marry. But then again, perhaps we are – Obama says so this morning and does so as part of creating the just world he wishes his own children to live in.

Many Australians today are looking to their own Prime Minister for this kind moral leadership. Come on Julia, break out the confetti. What, besides an election, have you got to lose?

This article was first published in The Conversation.

INFO: www.theconversation.edu.au

By Australian Research Centre in Sex, Health and Society (ARCSHS) deputy director Anne Mitchell.

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9 responses to “Julia, are you listening?”

  1. R, it would be interesting to many readers of you could cite some documented examples of homophobe-phobia by homosexuals against heterosexuals, just so we could understand your concerns a bit better. By “documented” I mean evidence, please.

    You see, many same sex attracted people are quite naturally outraged by two millennia of religious-based hatred and violence against us. Perhaps “homophobia” is not an accurate word, for you? We could add “gay hatred”, “poofter bashing”, same sex “marginalisation”, “discrimination”, “inequality”, “bias”, if any of those suit your state of outrage against us expressing your stance as old fashioned, garden variety “homophobia”.

    You can split hairs about what to call it, R, but that will not distract GLBTQI people from our ever-successful struggle against inequality. Many would say we’re already winning when those like you are trolling around our media, leaving anonymous comments trying to tear strips of our kind using a Victorian era school teachers’ grammatical outrage.

  2. Again, trying to intimidate with “homophobe”! Some of us are not going to put up with “homophobe, homophobe, homophobe”. I just indicated that to you that this inappropriate name-calling. If you are so downtrodden from mistreatment, then you should know from experience that this is unbecoming of anybody interested in not mistreating others. Maybe you haven’t been that mistreated as you claim?

    It amazes me when homosexuals talk of being discriminated against. Some of us know that homosexuals have been highly discriminatory against bisexuals! We know they see bisexuals as “traitors” and have perpetrated their own “biphobia”. In this matter, homosexuals are very hypocritical. It is the “pot calling the kettle black”.

  3. ‘R’, I have NO problem with people being heterosexual in any shape or form. I have never said ‘Oh that person shouldn’t be heterosexual’ It is YOU who have a problem with homosexuality! Yes, you are a homophobe, even more so by coming on this site and adding your negative comments against homosexual people! Because sexuality should not be an issue, any sort of issue. One shouldn’t even have to think or discuss such a thing. Same as relationships, which all should be equal under the law. It is heterosexuals who continue to discriminate against anyone who is different to them. Things will change and are changing!

  4. Why is it that someone who disagrees with homosexuality is always labelled a “homophobe”? Does disagreement with something mean the person disagreeing has to have a “phobia” (a fear)? You will disagree with my views about homosexuality: do I say you have a “phobia” about me or a “phobia” about my views? Of course not! And you know it!

    Isn’t this behaviour of labelling one a “homophobe” simply reminiscent of the name-calling we all did childishly whilst growing up? This is the 21st century (excuse used by “marriage equality” perpetrators for pushing homosexual marriage) so surely we shouldn’t resort to such name-calling anymore?

  5. Julia cant belive in much at all she not even married. I will support the Greens and hopefully they will get enough seats to further pressure both parties to give gay marriage a fair go. I have been labour all my life. You see Julia I am gay and pround of it. I am a morther, a sister, a auntie, a daughter, a friend, a lover,and most of all i should as a human being have the same rights.entsWebo

  6. We need to get away from the term, “gay” marriage. It’s hurtful to bisexual, transgender and intersex people.

  7. I know exactly what Juliar is going to do! Two things. Lose the election and thus set back progressive social justice issues in this country for many, many years! And also cost taxpayers a by-election in her socalled ‘Labor-left’ electorate after the election.

  8. Julia actually does have something to lose besides the election, which is already irretrievably lost. A legacy.
    She can go down in history as a miserable failure, an untrustworthy backstabber only interested in power for its own sake, or she can go out fighting in a blaze of glory and leave behind a fairer, more equal Australia.
    She can frankly admit she was wrong, she’s sick of compromising, and she will do all she can for marriage equality or die trying.
    Allegedly she has guts and courage. Let’s see ’em Julia!
    And who knows? It may even be the saving of you.

  9. She isn’t going to win the election. She is a lost cause.

    Abbott is also a lost cause.

    We need to see the back side of both of these two.

    I do not know how we get Abbott rolled and replaced with Turnbull, or anyone else more favorable to our cause.

    I think that Gillard has already done herself in, and we are just waiting impatiently for someone to stick the political knife in – and hopefully it will be someone really favorable to our cause.

    I will continue to support the Greens and hopefully they will get enough seats to further pressure both parties to give gay marriage a fair go.

    I do not see any other short term options available to us, but would love to hear some.