Send for the ambulance
Shakespeare wrote, “There is a tide in the affairs of men which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune.”
The flood is pouring through Canberra right now. The swollen river is scouring away the foundations, and the House of Rudd is slowly collapsing into the torrent.
The damp is playing havoc with the PM’s circuitry, causing him to jabber incomprehensibly, offering mad fashion tips at inappropriate moments, like a Stepford wife who needs debugging.
The voters would like to flee, but to where? To the Liberals, perhaps, especially since Big Mal decided to hang around. But not to Tony Abbott. Middle Australia could just about stomach the Liberals, but not the far-right dinosaurs.
Meanwhile, the flood is washing anyone even faintly progressive into the Greens’ embrace. Rudd, who was always more interested in appeasing rather than opposing the right, has totally lost the left. He’s frantically trying to get it back by attacking big business, but he’s picked the wrong target.
Rightly or wrongly, lots of people think mining is a productive occupation that earns its profits, whereas most people think banks are parasites.
Rudd has finally grasped — clumsily — that to have any chance of winning the next election, the Government needs to swing left.
But how to do it? Well, the failed experiment at being non-threatening not-really-Labor is inextricably identified with Rudd himself. Remove him, and the picture changes.
How? Easy. Just send for the ambulance.
He is obviously exhausted, overworking and getting flakier by the day. He is known to have health issues — remember the pre-election scare about his heart valve?
So look out for a Prime Ministerial collapse and a graceful retirement on health grounds — thus winning the sympathy vote — and a swift accession to the top job by Julia Gillard, ideally before the next election, unless the polls improve, or very shortly after.
Her centre-left credentials are impeccable, her performance has been stellar despite a workload fully the equal of Rudd’s, and the party and the public love her.
Most importantly, she’s the best ad for Teflon since Ronald Reagan.
If the flood continues unchecked, the devastation will be immense and who knows if it could ever be repaired. Time for Julia to take Therese aside for a quiet cuppa and a frank chat. And have that ambulance standing by.
