If you’re tired of Sydney, you’re tired of life -” to borrow a line crafted for a better place. She ain’t perfect, this lady, but she’s definitely pretty and with summer weather kicking in this past week it’s time to rediscover what we love about our hometown and visit her hide-outs, new and old.

This last week I paid virginal visits to Ivy and Trademark, two of Sydney’s latest clubs where you
will definitely find the beautiful people.

Ivy is everything you’ve read about it -” and probably more. It’s so L.A. that I expected to see Jennifer Aniston craning herself at the bar or George Clooney spread out on the lounges alongside Brad Pitt. It’s the Opera House of nightclubs, the Harbour Bridge of bars.

Trademark on the other hand is still establishing itself in terms of the atmosphere set by its doormen and bar staff, which is unfortunately lacking. But with a perfect position right under the Coke sign and balcony overlooking the strip, it has buzzy urban atmosphere in spades. Sundays are gay (Gaze) and it’s worth visiting just to ponder whether you think the lights look like a cluster of spider eggs or not. I think they do.

This week I’m visiting the newly revamped Beresford Hotel in Surry Hills, which I’ve already heard very good things about from friends. Darlinghurst pub lovers should also brace themselves for the resuscitation of another classic: the Palace Hotel is reopening shortly, albeit with a name-change to the Local Taphouse, and it will be offering a Bavarian Bier Cafe-style experience with no fewer than 40 beers on tap.

Handle Bar will be having a Nightmare on Oxford St party on Saturday night for those who want to swap their beautiful people for the risen dead. Guest DJs Mark Murphy, Stereogamous (that’s Paul Mac and Seymour Butz), Spruce Lee, the Beau Monde DJs and Lovertits will play you like a pumpkin and a risque show by Adonis will make sure that you’re still alive. Entry is $10.

There’s even more blood-curdling madness down at the Burdekin Hotel with Halloween Whores II over all three floors of the venue with DJs Alex Taylor, Jason Barry, Johan Khoury, Kate Monroe, Luna T, Nell’ee Maydit, Sandi Hotrod and Troy Cox, and Joyce Maynge and other guests doing Halloween-themed performances. Entry is $15.

Also on Saturday, it’s week two of Bondi Boys at Bondi Social -” the first gay venue to hit the world-famous beach. Every Saturday from mid-afternoon onwards you can enjoy food and drinks as well as top DJs with your fellow kind right in the heart of Bondi. Tickets are $9 + BF and only available online at bondiboys.com.au -” a portion of that going to the Life Savers with Pride organisation, who will be there soaking up the homo beach vibes.

Loose Ends continues on Sunday night from 10pm at the Phoenix featuring resident DJ Matt Vaughan plus special guest Vinyl Richie, title holder of the cleverest name in DJ world. It’s also Vinyl’s birthday, so let’s hear it for the boy. Entry $5.

Coming up next weekend is Gurlesque’s City Limits party on Saturday at Hermann’s Bar, Sydney Uni, with Glitta Supenova, Kira Hula la, Adonis, Liz Burton, G-Doll, Sunday Francis Reece, Vesper White, plus Go Go gurls and DJ Sveta.

And after a great night last Saturday, Club Kooky will return to Newtown on Saturday 22 November and again in mid-December.

And supercool Sydney-born label Modular celebrates its 10th birthday with the Nevereverland festival on Saturday 13 December at the Hordern, with every Modular act known including the Presets, Klaxons, Ladyhawke, Cut Copy, Bang Gang DJs, Van She Tech, Hercules and Love Affair and the Bag Raiders.

Nothing to do in Sydney? I don’t even wanna about hear it! Enjoy.

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