Sydney always celebrates Liz’s birthday in style, which means that queer clubbers invariably have to face some hard choices about what makes it onto the cut list.

The final Hand In Hand will be an essential event for so many party princesses this year. After 12 fun years of disco dancing, insurance costs have forced ACON to say goodbye to their major fundraiser and tickets to the poignant farewell are selling fast. Just remember to take a handkerchief because this one is sure to be a tear jerker.

Of course, the perfect long weekend does require some precision planning, so whip out a magic marker and highlight the affairs to remember.

Caesars Bar’s Mega Long Weekend never sleeps. From Friday through to Monday, boy band/girl band theme nights give non-stop party a new meaning. Admission is free from 8 o’clock nightly.

Arq opens its birthday flesh-fest from 8pm Friday with Ultra: Queens Consort and $10 gets you in the door.

Also on Friday night, Blue Mountains PLWHA turn their fundraiser into a Cowboys And Indians costume party. It will be presided over by DJ Killer and prizes go out to the sexiest attire. It starts at 8pm, admission is $10, and the venue is Gearin Hotel, Katoomba.

On Saturday night, Arq continues the party in style when System: Beefeaters poaches the gorgeous DJ Josh away from Adelaide for a night of revelry. Entry costs $20 from 10pm.

Eden gets into the rock thing, launching The Secret Life Of Us 2 CD from 8pm with free admission.

Hand In Hand puts on a night of wicked games at Fox Studios entitled Playground, the final party fundraiser presented by ACON. Tickets will be available from the box office until 3am (excluding concessions). The cost is $75+BF, and concessions are available for $40 only from ACON offices.

Indulgence at Midnight Shift brings the leather and fetish crowd out for a Luncheon Club fundraiser from 10pm. Tickets are $20 and $15.

Arq does the official Hand In Hand day recovery from 7:30 on Sunday morning. Admission is $15 or $10 with your Hand In Hand ticket. Then stick around for Shine: Crown Jewels as Arq parties into the night. DJ Neil Lewis heads the spectacular line-up, with performances by Heiti and pop duo Shakaya. Shine starts at 10pm and tickets are $30 or $25.

For an unofficial but nevertheless traditional recovery, the Beresford Hotel’s Laneway Party almost defies description. It’s bright, it’s messy and it’s irresistible.

On Sunday night Barracks Bar opens up four dark and dirty levels for the boys to enjoy Club Berlin, an AIDS Trust fundraiser. The debauchery goes from 6pm till very late and admission is only $5.

Milk ‘N’ 2 Sugars puts on a Sunday evening tea dance like no other, so the Filthy Queen’s Birthday Party is sure to be a crowd pleaser, featuring special guest, DJ Watcher, along with Scott Pullen and Kate Monroe. Rock around to the Woolloomooloo Bay Hotel from 4pm till 10pm -“ the cost is $10.

Queer Nation at Home on Sunday night brings together 12 of Sydney’s finest DJs, including Mandy Rollins and Jake Kilby, for what is fast becoming clubland’s hottest night. From 10pm till 8am, tickets cost $30+BF.

Arq wraps up the royal celebrations on Monday night with Queen Of D’Nile. Anyone who can make it this far will be treated to the finest tracks that DJs Neil Crawford and Baby Bear have to offer. Admission is free from 10pm.

Now polish those tiaras, wish Her Royal Highness a very happy birthday and party like nobody has to work on Tuesday.

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