SARAH CONNOR [Sarah Connor]

The promotional material for German starlet Sarah Connor tells a strange story about her decision to become a famous singer. Michael Jackson turned up for a stadium show in Germany, and our Sarah was picked out of all of the students at her school to perform with him. Anyway, Sarah Connor is massive in Europe, and the first single from her self-titled album, Bounce, is doing all right here too, sticking around at number 17 on the singles charts. Connor is R’N’B in that Jessica Simpson way that will have real fans of the genre holding their heads in their hands. That said, as far as white bread noughties soul goes, she’s not half bad. And special guests TQ, Wyclef Jean and Naturally 7 give her a bit of the street cred her album is otherwise seriously lacking. Connor says she is inspired by soul, sex and sensuality, which explains the rude focus of much of her album (its titles include French Kissing, Skin On Skin, One Nite Stand and Let’s Get Back to Bed -“ Boy!). Tip: fast forward over Skin On Skin, it’s one of the most insipid ballads you’ll ever hear. And the lyrics on Love Is Color-Blind : It don’t matter if you’re black/white or yellow if you’re brown or red/let’s get down to that/love is color-blind, are absolutely nauseating. I thought Eurovision was over.