Last week I spoke about how most of Sydney is going through renovations, making the city and its people, oh, that much prettier. I briefly commented on the upgrade of Oxford Street also. Lots of money and time have gone into hopefully making the whole place better -“ more pedestrian orientated.

We even recently had a street fair, hosted by pinup girl Claire de Lune, where we were told that after a little time of discomfort there would be a light at the end of the tunnel.

After last weekend, I have to say, the word shithouse raised its ugly head. I understand that problems may arise but it seems those who planned this upgrade did not consider the consequences of cutting a footpath to just one metre wide.

Did anyone consider how many people actually come to Oxford Street on a weekend? Yes, a large part of the street is out of action, but let’s make the part that is being used practical. In places you can only get one person through at a time. Add booze and partygoers and this is a recipe for disaster.

Parts of the footpath are riddled with potholes so big that I saw a small lesbian fall into one and she almost couldn’t get out. Thank god she was wearing sensible shoes and was able to climb her way out. Portions are covered with bits of wood that are poking up or splintered and under occupational health and safety standards really quite dangerous.

And those are just the problems with the footpath itself. Making my way up from the Midnight Shift to Stonewall (with gay boy security in tow) I found that, with such a limited space, the idiots that you could usually move away from are now in your face. At one stage, one of the straight clubs was being raided and it seemed thousands of punters were pushed into a space only a metre wide. And to my utter disgust I heard, from a group of scrubbers (yes, that is a technical term) who were involuntarily being pushed into the Pleasure Chest doorway, Don’t go in there, you get AIDS. It took all my strength to walk away and say nothing. But honestly, what the fuck was that?

Clover, old girl, what are you doing? Is it going to be finished by New Year? Is there any way to give us more room?

It is going to be fabulous when it is finished but, in the meantime, let’s make what we have workable.

If you have any comment, why don’t you email Clover and let her know. I am sure the more comments she gets on the upgrade the better.

EYESPYThe Glamorous Clowns opens this Saturday at Stonewall, starring Vanity Faire, Stacii Gayski and me. The first show is at 11pm -“ be there or be square.

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