Last Friday I went to the new R&B night upstairs at the Midnight Shift, expecting to shake it like a motherbrother. It was my second trip to the Shift club in two weeks and, with a cute date who looked like an extra from a Janet Jackson clip, I was ready to shake my booteh.

Except it didn’t happen.

Now I don’t know what happened after 2 o’clock because I had to get home to my other biaatch, but if the music they played before was real hip hop and R&B, then I’m Snoop Doggy Dog. Apparently in Sydney, unlike other hip hop home bases like London and New York where a gay hip hop/R&B night means just that, here it just means house. Do the tastemakers of this city think we won’t know what to do with our hands if they play anything remotely straight? We can handle it. Turn that shit up!

On the other hand, the drag show, although whiter than Christmas, was very, very good. If there’s one thing that stands out about Sydney after my half a decade in Melbourne, where the drag queens generally look like victims of crime, it’s that our standard of performance in this regard is excellent.

And it was really good to be up at the Shift. I hear it’s been a little quiet of late -¦

Handle Bar on Saturday night was a good way to forgive and forget, although sometimes Gilligans merely feels like a portion of a club and I’m left wondering where the other parts are. The Girlie Show was the theme, and we got exactly what was advertised. From the shows to the DJs, it was all femme fatale.

Tonight there’s a new she-thing happening at the Phoenix Bar called Snatch and Grab, a new Thursday nighter full of indie/electro kinda surprises. Launch party guests are the Blush Foundation and entry is $10 for the general public or $5 if you’re a lucky bitch on the doorlist.

On Friday, Gilligans transforms again, this time into Tranni Panic Air. Dallas Dellaforce and a surprise guest are performing and DJs Adam Makda, La Donna Rama, Kitty Glitter and A-Cybele will be dropping the beats. Entry is $10.

On Saturday night, Alibi is at the Flinders Hotel featuring DJs Ben Drayton, James Bucknell, Claire Morgan, Magda, Jamie Lloyd, Dave Fernandes, Dean Dixon and Long John Saliva, playing disco, nu disco, house and Afrobeat with dashes of techno. $10 entry -” no excuses.

And Dirty is on at the Phoenix for those who like their sounds deeper, sexier and dirtier and with a main course-sized serve of techno. Entry is $15.

On the glittering horizon, the JJJ party Confessions is on at the Cross on Friday 26 September, Extra Dirty at the Oxford Art Factory and Action Uncensored at the Arthouse are both on Sunday 5 October of the Sleaze weekend, and Club Kooky returns to Hermann’s Bar at Sydney Uni on Saturday 25 October.

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