I hazard to say that men are universally the same, no matter their persuasion. I am trying to teach a straight girlfriend the rules on dating men. She’s not coping with the situation and come to think of it, nor am I. Time and experience has not led to better results in either camp, so it’s time to all recap some important rules together:
Rule 1 – men are men. A very important rule. Don’t forget it. We are confusing, we under-think, some of us like coy and unavailable, some of us don’t like coy and unavailable. We like sex. Actually, we like it so much that we do dumb things to get it and we even pay for it (don’t tell me you guys at sex on premises aren’t all little indirectly paid whores).
Rule 2 – women are women. Another important rule. They are confusing, they over-think, some of them like coy and unavailable, some of them don’t like coy and unavailable. They like to talk. Actually, they like it so much that they do dumb things to… good, you’re getting the message.
Rule 3 – sex is good. Whether you delay it three months after extensive, and quite frankly expensive, dating or you throw it out for a roll around on the first night, sex is what makes men and women compatible. It makes women shut up and it makes men talk. Actually that sounds more like role reversal, but it true.
Rule 4 – no sudden movements. This is a particularly good rule to avoid you recoiling in horror as someone leans in to kiss you or if you are midway through activities and someone starts coughing. It’s a safety rule, designed to keep our bodies and hearts safe.
Last rule – number 5. Always listen to your slutty friend. They will always start with rule 3 and no matter how much you like the guy and want to ‘take things slowly’ they want you to become a heavy breathing wanton beast within seconds of meeting. It’s the best advice you can get. It gels you together so you can care less about confusing, under-thought, coy dates.
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