When it comes to pleasure, almost all avenues are valid. Pleasure comes from sensations and perceptions we find enjoyable based on our own experiences and desires.

We will each find different sexual practices exciting at different intensities and maybe for different reasons.

Never underestimate how bringing fantasies into role-play and taking or giving up power can stimulate sexual desire. Exploring sexuality and boundaries and pushing your limits is not only a physical task, however, as getting immersed in any new sexual practice can create stress and anxiety.

Being able to communicate your limits clearly and establishing the rules beforehand as well as trusting your playmate(s) are essential to enjoying a mutually satisfying experience. Limits are normally established by the submissive partner as they will prevent both parties from going too far.

There are both hard and soft limits. A hard limit is something you would not do under any circumstances.

Soft limits are those things you are uneasy about, but willing to explore with the right persuasion.
It is important (especially when playing with new partners) to have a safe word or signal and when used the scene has to be stopped immediately.

After intense experiences give yourself time to recover, debrief and discuss the session openly. This communication plus aftercare attention from your partner(s) helps bonding and building trust between all parties. The more trust you have with your partner(s), the more open to exploration you will be.

Most sexual practices have training sessions and workshops. Find out more from the friendly staff at your favourite ‘adult needs’ shop about workshops in your area or books that might give you more information.

If your sexual exploration is causing you distress or impacting you negatively, there are some numbers where you can explore these issues and get referrals: the Mental Health Advice Line 1300 280 737; Lifeline 131 114; the Gay and Lesbian Switchboard 03 9663 2939; Alcohol and Drug Direct Line 1800 888 236.

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