Fit for a queen

It was like the Queen’s Birthday holiday was just for us. Could you think of a better excuse to have a public holiday or a dance party?

With temperatures so low, even the brass monkeys had problems finding their balls, but it didn’t seem to deter partygoers the slightest. I know I felt as snug as a bug, wrapped in a thick coat with a couple of boozes to fight off the cold.

I attended only one party over the weekend, Homesexual, though I had numerous to choose from. I went partly because all my friends were attending but mostly because I was featured in the 3pm Royalty Of Drag show.

To be absolutely honest, I live for performing at big parties. I think I am not alone -“ most showgirls who just start out dream of hoofing it up there on a Mardi Gras or big party stage. I’m not saying performing at our normal venues doesn’t give us the same buzz.

There is just something different about looking out into a sea of people and spotting just one face you recognise. It can almost be guaranteed that I will spot my flatmate Vanity Faire in the audience with a smile from ear to ear -“ it gives me goose bumps with excitement just thinking about it. (This is why all parties that forget to include a little bit of a show here and there go straight into my Shithouse File.)

But back to the show Royalty Of Drag. Many have asked why were these six chosen for this show -“ are there others who are more worthy of the royal status than these six?

Well, this is how I’d rate them.

Carlotta would have to be and will always be the queen. Let’s face it: this old girl has done it all and still looks a million bucks at the bar or on a huge stage.

As for Polly, this old duchess has also done and seen pretty much everything. If there is anyone who has to wear a crown, then it’s Polly.

With the amount of charity work Claire does, the Queen of Hearts title needs to go to her every time.

With Verushka -“ I’ve got no idea why they put her in. I’m just joking. Verushka’s style and grace can only be fitting for a princess, sharing her knowledge and beauty across the land.

All kingdoms need a court jester, and Mitzi is the Queen of Camp forever. I almost pissed my pants a hundred times. It seems there is no off button.

And then there is me. Every castle needs a pretty young princess to sit in the corner and lift her skirt up whenever a prince comes along, don’t they?

So for all those who thought there were better queens out there for the Royalty Of Drag show, all I have to say is pull your heads in, we have all earned our crown in some way or another.