Keep your clothes on

As we rocket through the 2007 calendar, last week saw the official start of the Christmas party season. Though Christmas paraphernalia started to seep into our supermarkets as early as September, the hanging of decorations and the erection of the odd tree here and there throughout the city gave the green light for parties to spring up. With the traditional carols and bloody Mariah Carey’s All I Want For Christmas stuck on repeat, the festive season has flooded the city.
I can’t explain it but each year there are many requests for drag queens to perform at Christmas parties around the city. Maybe it’s the “ho ho, ho” that reminds everyone of a showgirl, but you are more than likely going to see one of us pop up leading a carol, handing out Secret Santas or just mingling at the office function to add an unusual spot of cheer. We bring festive songs like Walking Around In Woman’s Underwear and a favourite carol sung by many drag queens, Rudolph the Deep Throat Reindeer – such class!
Last weekend I performed at three separate Christmas parties, to my friends’ absolute astonishment. I was told that for many the end of year Christmas party had an unspoken rule to get as crazy as possible. It’s something about the only thing better than free booze is free booze paid for by the boss.
So I thought I would pass on some advice to all those who have made fools of themselves at previous Christmas parties.
My first suggestion is not to hang out for the customary buffet dinner, served many hours after drinking time has started. As we have all learnt over the years, drinking on an empty stomach can only result in tears. Being a little piggy early by fitting in a quick bite to eat could mean not having to send out a generic email to everyone the next day apologising for the sudden downward spiral of your character.
Which leads me into Christmas party romances. After a champagne or two, Tim from Accounts can look very attractive, as can the drag queen employed to sass up the evening – but don’t go pashing them with gay abandon. (This is where the “ho ho, ho” comes in, I guess). And finally, nudity may seem funny at the time and even funnier when you’ve had a shandy, but in front of your boss and your colleagues? Nope, that’s a major no-no. Just because your skirt can go over your head doesn’t mean it should.
Good luck Christmas partying to all.
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