Are you finding yourself unable to get a good night’s sleep, either having problems dropping off or waking up at 3 or 4pm and then unable to go back to slumber? Tired all-day and going over stuff again and again in your head? It means you psyche is not happy. Your psyche hasn’t resolved important issues. When you stop distracting yourself at night these issues are keeping your psych awake.

Maybe it is about work, your relationship, family issues, feelings of low self-worth, financial troubles, a sudden medical diagnosis or feelings of drifting without meaning. Whatever it is it needs to come out in the open don’t you agree? Maybe there are some good friends or family members you can share your stories with. If they are good at listening, and reframe from constantly tell you what to do, then they are your first port of call.

Most friends are great for a while at listening and supplying empathy but they are more than likely going to shut you down after a while. This means you will not get it all out in the open, exploring the issue in great depth. We humans have brains with an amazing gift, the gift of insight. Insight informs us what we need to do about our issues. You have heard the expression just sleep on it. When you think about an issue in some depth at night, some answers come to you in the morning or a day later. You know 100% what to do now.

With bigger issues however you are going to have to talk about it for some time. The brain needs to have as much information presented to it about any issue so it can use the gift of insight to find a solution. A solution, which will tell you what to do. Our human brain has developed so well that at an unconscious level it can supply all the answers we need, if we put in the right amount of input.

One way to do this is to keep a diary of thoughts. A lot of successful people keep a diary about their lives and their issues. This is one way to feed the brain information.

The other way is to seek professional counselling. It might be a career counsellor, a couples counsellor or a general counsellor but expressing yourself freely will allow your psyche to find the solutions it needs.

So if you are not sleeping like you want to and this has been going on for a while speak to friends, start writing a diary or seek counselling. A happy gay is a refreshed gay. A good night’s sleep is like a gold pass to a happier you. (By gay I mean to include, lesbian, transgender, transsexual or bi-sexual) Phew!

Gerry North is a couple’s counsellor and can be contacted at [email protected] or


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