Fanning fear in the marriage debate

Fanning fear in the marriage debate

Delivering the 19th annual Keith Harbour Address at the Positive Living Centre recently, author and academic Dennis Altman posed some important questions about the future of the LGBTI community.

He also made the point that those working in the community, including the gay press, do not sufficiently understand their history, where this community has come from and the rights it’s fought tooth and nail for over the last four decades.

“History becomes a way for us to understand how we got where we are, but I think equally importantly, it helps us ask questions of where we go next and are there ways of re-imagining what we do when we see it from a historical [perspective],” he said.

“To situate the current debates within the framework of how we got there, where we came from, [and] the fact that there has been, over a 30-year period, ongoing tensions with governments in Australia around … [a] movement that is radical and wants to change larger social norms.”

One of the larger social norms Altman is probably alluding to here is the push for marriage equality.

While gay marriage advocates are at great pains to show the community is singing from the same hymn sheet when it comes to marriage rights, quieter discussions with a few older members of the community reveal not everyone is on song.

One seasoned community campaigner told me he is not supportive of same-sex marriage, but was willing to go along with the idea, so we could all stop talking about it and move on to other “more important” issues.

Similarly, despite long championing marriage equality on her television program, MSNBC anchor Rachel Maddow recently aired her private concerns that allowing same-sex marriage will result in a loss of the alternative heart in gay culture.

It’s worth saying most of the dissenters I’ve spoken to aren’t necessarily vehemently opposed to same-sex marriage rather than feeling lukewarm about the idea. Most, however, are wary of being too vocal about it.

It’s unfortunate that those in the community who don’t agree with gay marriage fear being howled down by the community for ‘treason’.

Overwhelmingly, I believe the majority of the community is in favour of change I am interested to hear more about how the community feels about this.

INFO: Are you against gay marriage? Do you fear speaking out against it for fear of criticism? Drop me a line:
[email protected]

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5 responses to “Fanning fear in the marriage debate”

  1. I’m 51 years old and not afraid to say this Emperor is stark naked! My current peeve is that those Kardashians get millions for making a mockery of marriage whereas my sterling efforts here and elsewhere never get a cent!
    Seriously though, I’m not against ‘gay’ marriage. In fact make it as GAY as you can. But that’s not what is being lobbied for. Someone said to me “I don’t want a gay wedding anymore than my brother had a straight wedding.” Really? Since when were weddings meant to be a denial of sex or sexuality? As if it’s something to be ashamed of.
    Another said to me “I want my 12 year relationship to be legitimate.” Huh! It’s the 21st century and this is how some gays still see themselves? I would never say a same-sex relationship was not legitimate, yet I’m a traitor for not supporting gay marriage? No, I say if you adopt the language of conservatives to label our relationships illegitimate then you just might be the traitor.
    I take a hard line against marriage to hopefully jolt people out of this self-defeating negativity. I hope that’s what Dennis Altman was trying to do in his speech too. Interesting that he doesn’t mention marriage, it has to be inferred. He wants us to look at the big picture. The focus on marriage is so small people have lost perspective. Civil unions won’t do. Nor relationship registers. It must be marriage. It must be called marriage. It must be exactly what heterosexuals have. And this stringent definition is called equality. Yet when the conservatives and religious assert their definitions it’s called bigotry. Put some clothes on Your Excellency!

  2. I think there’s a distinction to be made here. Gays not “agreeing” with gay marriage is not the same as personally not wanting it for themselves. If a gay person allows their own feelings about marriage as an institution to inform their view as to whether ANY gay person should be given the right to get married, they are no better than religious opponents of gay marriage who expect the rest of us to conform to their religious beliefs.

    If you are a gay person who believes gays should not have the right to get married, you are an enemy of the gay rights movement, period.

    I am gay and personally don’t wish to ever get married but I still would fight for the rights of other gays who want marriage for themselves. It is a matter of principle and equality.

    I am a fan of Rachel Maddow and I read her comments about this topic. I’m certain she’d be the first to clarify that her comments weren’t meant to be interpreted as an argument against gay people having the right to marry but merely an argument about why marriage need not necessarily be embraced by the gay community.

  3. I think marriage is a redundant issue, be it same sex or otherwise. The dominance of SSM as an issue just demonstrates how middle class and self interested gay activism has become. The real battle lays in defending and extending secularism.here are so many more issues that are more important not least of these the state murder and incarceration of homosexuals in the developing world. The christian faiths and Islam are both pushing a “moral” worldview which is stultified and limited.

  4. Steady on, most older members of our community grew up hoping to shag and not go to jail, so I can see how Marriage does not seem that important. However some of us believe and hope to end all discrimination, and Marriage is a powerful symbol of one of the last great areas for those who believe in it. I would also like to see if I had a priority, the Federal Equal Opportunity Act changed to include us without exemptions, so we can challenge any further legislation that discriminates, that we might so come accross in our lives, from nursing homes, to health care, to family court, to schools, businesses that get government money but discriminate. I mean how bad is it some of us cannot even work in soup kitchen if we are open about our sexuality!