Christmas for gay dads can be an interesting time. Some of us are lucky to have time with family and shared experiences. Others have to wake up alone and drop off children after turkey legs on Toy Story plastic plates.
Dawn is from a broken home herself and has the emotional scars from her experience, so avoids separating the family at all costs on Christmas. When I was living with my boyfriend, I found it hard that whilst I was extremely grateful to spend time with my family, I was aware of the missing person next to me at the table.
There are many reasons for missing men at Christmas tables. Perhaps they have their own children, perhaps they are not accepted as your partner at the table, perhaps your family are not yet comfortable, perhaps your ex wife is still not okay with sharing BBQ prawns yet.
For some dads, the Christmas break is a quiet affair, mixed in with some heartbreak and frustration.
I remember a couple of years ago, my then partner and I both had children, so two or three days before Christmas we had to go out and have dinner alone to celebrate. I hated it. I detested the fact I had travelled so far yet was not close enough to be together on this seemingly special time of the year.
Dawn and I have discussed our ideas on how our mythical partners would join us on Christmas lunch and how it would all work. It’s like playing human chess, and that’s when it’s an amicable situation.
My heart goes out to the gents who have a less than shiny relationship with their ex’s, having to wake up alone, travel to the kids, share a gift and perhaps depart within the same day. With any extreme there is pain.
I’ll avoid silly tinsel comments this year. So, to the dads out there who know you are going to have a spartan time with the family, call a friend, dial in some happy mates or write to me. And just remember, you’re not alone.
I wish you all a safe and peaceful, loving break this year.
John
xx
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