Dear readers, this is my last column.

The planking craze that is sweeping the net has even touched the drag community with Monte and others including Ms Candee posing in ‘plank’ mode. Sooo, it’s lying flat on an inanimate object? Sounds like a few nights out I’ve had — or some of my roots.

The GH opened and pulled out all the stops. Very impressive venue but, my goodness, the intimate old tatty drag bar that the Greyhound once was is no more. It’s like stepping into the Tardis. The outside is the same, but that’s where any similarity to the previous incarnation ends. It looks like a huge Studio 54 dance bar — not very friendly to a song-and-dance style drag show, I would imagine. Good luck, girls!

A veritable who’s who of gay Melbourne was in attendance — and a few nobodies.

News from Yarraville about the shock dismissal of two young lovelies from a pub in the west. It appears they were given the shaft by a young lady who had recently been brought into the show and then promptly stole the gig from under them.  One wonders what the hotel will do without its head costumer. Surely that’s a pretty important part of a drag show, dontcha think?

Anita Beer made quite the night of it for her big birthday and wound up missing her gig at the Market. The lovely one was being carried about by two boys as her tootsies hung helplessly like two flaccid salamis with heels on. It seems Ms Beer

had one too many shandies and found herself tired and emotional. Anyone who came into her immmediate range was told exactly what she thought in no uncertain terms. She finished her evening with a tumble down the stairs at Heifers Door. I do love her but she truly is the Neely O’Hara of drag. She’s got it all — looks, personality, talent — but seems to have a gun pointed firmly at her own foot.

All good things must come to an end, and this, my dears, is my swan song. I would again like to thank Andie, Scott, and the gorgeous Mark (Pup) for allowing me to pen this little column. It’s been highly gay but it’s time to hand it over. Please catch my final performance on Commercial Rd this Friday night (May 27) in Drag Addicts at the Market, featuring the legendary Ms Candee, me and the wonderful Sensation.

I’m bowing out in the venue where it all began some 20 years ago, alongside a lady who was my inspiration for doing drag in the first place — Ms Candee.

And now — over to you Polly!

Rita xx

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