Singapore swing

I’ve arrived safe and well in Singapore and I can report it’s absolutely beautiful. I arrived with the pole competition’s Australian representative, Ness, and Danish celebrity Stine, who is making a documentary of her adventures.

After a taxi trip to our hotel to change, we were off to see the pole studio, perfectly placed on Queen St next door to a fabulous church. Most of the girls had never met any of us but we were welcomed with open arms. We were taken on a tour of the studios then the nightclub we were to perform at.

Bobbi, from Bobbi’s Pole Studio, advised me to consider toning down my performance. She was a little scared that many wouldn’t know how to ‘take’ a drag queen, but we soon learnt that Singaporeans are up for anything, especially when it comes to sex. The competition was sponsored by a sex toy company. My co-host Chilli received the biggest dildo I have ever seen. So big, in fact, we are questioning whether she will be able to get it through Customs.

With a few days free before the competition, we became tourists, seeing all the sights and buying everything we could get our hands on. I visited a few gay clubs (Taboo and Tantric).

The competition was amazing — 450 people crammed into a club, all going crazy for the girls fighting it out to be crowned Miss Pole Dance Singapore. The winner, Naoko, took my breath away: she was as graceful as a ballerina and was honestly moved when she was crowned. After the comp we popped into a fabulous club called Zirc that was holding a gay night.

As for the gay thing, I haven’t really encountered any problems. I walked around for four days with hot pink toenails, but the locals seem to be more interested in my tattoos, although the Indian boys almost wet themselves when they saw me dressed up.

Maybe I will find myself a rich husband here in Singapore…