The lift door opened and he walked out, looked over to me and smiled. It wasn’t a ‘oh it’s a human’ smile, it was a smile I’d seen before, it was a friendly, genuine smile.

I was busy tucking my love handle back into my shirt, so I missed his eye contact. Shit! Damn it. I poked the down button for the lift and he stalled at the glass door, neither of us looking over… much. Do I chase him into the meeting room or yell out ‘Hey…’ – then what? OMG.

A couple of months earlier I had seen him at a breakfast thing in the city, unrelated to work, but he had smiled at me there too.

Bugger. I’ve got one last chance before he ignores me forever. Great. I know he’s on level six, so I’m going to have to get access and wander down. How do I know he’s on that floor already? Have we met?

What do I do? I call Rosanna who tells me to call Brandon, he’ll know who he is. Yes – it’s that important.

Sure enough, omnipotent B has the answer I was looking for. Kate from halfway around the world gets in on the act. “You need to follow him around and then corner him in the mens…” Hmmm, she knows me too well.

I can’t really use the mens – at least not on my floor. Oh god, next I’ll be using internal mail like it’s Grindr. (Please note my level 13 friend who sends me pictures of naked men via internal mail).

So, in essence, I need to stop tucking in love handles, get an eating disorder, find out where and when Mr Mysterious is meeting on our floor next and successfully be poised for the stalk.

Either that, or I’m going to have to camp out in the foyer morning, lunchtime for several hours and home time.

Or I could just email him.

INFO: You can follow John Meyer on Twitter: @daddydearest_ and on Facebook: DaddyDearest

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