As gay males, we are now faced with some decisions that will bear a heavy consequence on our lives. Like, should I go to Sleaze Ball or the after-parties this year (or both)? And do I find a nice lesbian and pop out some healthy rainbow babies? And the eternal question, do I fill the Kylie coffers with even more money? It’s that last one that’s got me in a quandary today.

I watched the Kylie X2008 download last week, and once again felt myself falling for it all. I should have outgrown Kylie by now, but there I was, all like whoa, eat your heart out Daft Punk!

The ginormous LCD screen flashed the letters of her name while the K-Y-L-I-E chant billowed out over the speakers. A troupe of dancers warmed up the stage for her and then finally she appeared, God-like, and started singing.

The Acer Arena show on Sunday 14 December sold out in just two minutes, so that kinda solves the problem for me. But as for that Christmas DVD, I just gotta have it.

And there is a second concert announced for 16 December.

Something that won’t cost a cent, Glamour pour le Hammer upstairs at the Colombian on Thursday 25 September is hosting the ANODE Art Festival after-party, and entry is free. It features one of Australia’s most strangely talented and underrated performers, Christa Hughes, a.k.a. KK Juggy from Machine Gun Fellatio.

She’s known as the woman who can sing and gargle beer at the same time. Resident Jack Shit and guest DJ Disco T Rash will dig deep into the bowels of their massive and motley record collections, while Faggot Rooster patrols the bar.

Then on Friday 26 September, J+J+J parties are back with Confessions at a new location, the Cross, on level 1 of the Bourbon, Kings Cross. Started by DJ Jason Barry in August 2003 as a joint birthday party, J+J+J has gone on to become a regular event.

This latest instalment is the most exciting to date with a live PA by Jordana of Stonebridge fame, plus Kamilla and Joyce Maynge’s long-awaited WYD show.

The DJ line-up is Kate Monroe back to back with Alex Taylor, Dan Murphy and DJane and resident DJ Jason Barry. The music is the anthems of now, mixed up with the best house and high NRG of the 90s.

Expect the latest high-end projected visuals direct from the USA, two lasers and two dance rooms plus a lush terrace overlooking the main strip. Entry is $5 before 10pm and $10 after. Doors open at 9pm. Don’t miss it!

Rave alert! Godskitchen celebrates its 10th birthday with the Angel in White party at the Dome, Sydney Showgrounds, on Saturday 11 October. Some of the world’s best trance DJs are headlining the party -” Sander Van Doorn, Menno De Jong, John O’Callaghan and Jon O’Bir.

The drill is to dress in white and get very, very messy thereafter. Tickets are $79 + BF from ticketmaster.com.au or phone 136 100.

Also on the horizon, Hunk will return to the Midnight Shift on 25 October, Club Kooky returns to Hermann’s Bar at Sydney Uni also on Saturday 25 October, and hip hop legends Salt-n-Pepa play at the Enmore Theatre on Friday 7 November. Now that’s one show that won’t be re-packaged in a hurry. I think Spinderella just cut Kylie up one time.

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